Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
OperationNicole_fml 0
Well, at least you won't ever stand on a bus.
Xinxinix 0
Think of it this way, if you look like you're pregnant, you can get away with more stuff. Like yelling at people through the Drive-Thru at McDonalds or something.
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Comments (114)
SpaceNinja 0
Never assume. It makes an ass out of you and me. xD I'm sorry to hear that... maybe you should lose some weight?
magiclavalamp 0
Forget it. She should not be telling you what to do anyways...
lemon_squeezy 0
well that's embarrassing! no offense but you might wanna hop on a treadmill!
blink182girl13 0
Don't feel bad. I was at the grocery store and I had my friend feel how gurgly my stomach was and some dude asked if my baby was kicking. And I'm only like 10 lbs overweight. All my excess weight just goes to my stomach though. So, don't feel that bad!
FuzzMonkey09 0
People who are saying you should lose weight or YDTO need to get a ******* grip. Not every girl has to have a flat stomach. Jeez....
anonymousstudent 0
its just a sign that u shouldnt smoke cigarettes :) im sure u dont look pregnant tho
stephfml 0
i kinda wanna see a picture of you because being pregnant is pretty distinguishable from being fat, i'm curious to see what your stomach looks like
jSOPURE 3
Gotta love the post to screen name connection. Kudos. More cushion for the pushin'. :)
stephfml 0
i kinda wanna see a picture of you because being pregnant is pretty distinguishable from being fat, i'm curious to see what your stomach looks like
generalsmith2 0
here is my 2 cents for those wishing to waste their time reading my comment. how many freaking "someone mistook me for pregnant!!!" FMLs are there?! seriously? stop. everyone stop sayin im sure she is beautiful, she is fat an she smokes. shes not. #13. thats not average. you fat too. woman, either exercise..... or straight up suck it up when it shows you don't. #32. stalker.
edeielia 0
Actually, 5'7" and 140 lbs. is on the low end of being an average and healthy BMI...so no, #13 is not "fat too." However, I do agree that #32 might be a stalker.