Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
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Top comments
OperationNicole_fml 0
Well, at least you won't ever stand on a bus.
Xinxinix 0
Think of it this way, if you look like you're pregnant, you can get away with more stuff. Like yelling at people through the Drive-Thru at McDonalds or something.
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Comments (114)
Sessee 4
You should have hit her. 1. Obviously, you weren't pregnant. 2. It's none of her business.
VioletED 0
though i agree she was being nosy and intrusive to make any assumptions about what you should or shouldn't do, the fact is all she did was verbalize what many others must think when they see you - "your stomach is big enough to be carrying a baby!" in a way it's almost kind of her to assume that your big stomach is due to motherhood rather than sloth and gluttony.
n8_fml 0
Ever play the "is she fat or pregnant" game?
JLife 0
Lose some weight and stop smoking. That will solve your problem. You deserved that one.
chuteboxe39 0
agree with 80. don't really have much sympathy for people who let themselves go. put down the fork and do something about it
Synthetic42 0
Roll some meth into your cigs. You'll slim down soon enough
livingdeadgirl 0
You should have cussed that lady out because even if you were pregnant, why the hell does she think she is in any position to tell you what you should or should not do.
redheadedbeauty 0
Im skinny & I don't smoke, but that bitch and all these people badmouthing you need to get over themselves.
Matito_fml 0
You should have told her you weren't pregnant, if for nothing else, to see if she would come on here and posted an FML of her own.
Anonymice_fml 0
Yikes. Being overweight leads to some embarrassing and awkward situations, huh? :(