Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
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Top comments
hales_fml 0
"love wedge" made me laugh SO hard.
what_the_fuhh 0
damn, that fucken sucks ass dude. sorry
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Comments (85)
maiden_girl 5
I agree with #14. That was messed up.
hp4ever_fml 0
#10 and #35, I agree with you both. People are so ignorant sometimes. This WAS sexual assault.
Eryx_fml 3
Wow that really sucks... I'm sorry. You should find out who had sex there if you still don't know and never talk to them anymore. Lol. #35 is right.
gBizzle 0
that is hilarious
livingdeadgirl 0
Lmfao..that is pretty ****** up but god damn that nickname is funny as shit.
beerchen 0
At least they didn't have sex with you...
JaelynneRose 0
Are you sure your friends actually like you? LOL J/K...definitely FYL though
christina_xx 0
Lmfao, poor thing. :(
DanKNuget 0
Hahaha! That is pretty damn funny actually. Besides, you people need to chill out. If two of my friends, especially if they were good friends, were trying to get their goodies goin' and it seemed like a good idea at the time to use my unconcious body as a prop, I'd be like hey, go for it, I'm passed out anyway, as long as you don't get any of your love juices on me its all good. As long as they weren't just doing it to be assholes. If they were just like, trying to have sex right there next to me for some reason and decided I was the only nearby object to get up against for optimal fun parts positioning, then by all means, if anything, I'd be glad to help out. Haha. Free love, man! Peace!
salies 0
#52 im with you all the way !
disguise 0
Omg...I just ask FML to censure this comment cause I told some bs (thanks to Didi)