Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
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Top comments
hales_fml 0
"love wedge" made me laugh SO hard.
what_the_fuhh 0
damn, that fucken sucks ass dude. sorry
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Comments (85)
DiSab 0
Love Wedge FTW.
echoecho 0
@"And no, rape does not count in this because it is much more serious than a silly little prank. Please stop being such a drama queen." and all those other, "hahaha you deserved it just 'cause you weredrunk" type comments: Um, sorry, but this would, since he was unconscious at the time, count LEGALLY as sexual assault. For good reason. Guess what: it's illegal to mess with someone sexually when they are unable to give consent. You can't give consent if you're not only drunk but UNCONSCIOUS. Key word: UNCONSCIOUS! I don't give a rat's ass if the guy was "stupid" to drink too much; sure it's dumb to get that tanked as a general rule, but legally, it doesn't matter one way or the other when it comes to sexual assault. Otherwise people who get assaulted in bad neighborhoods or date-raped wouldn't be able to press charges either! A moment of foolishness on the part of the victim does NOT excuse the sexual abuser from their own CONSCIOUS behavior. If he was unable to give legal consent, he was unable to give legal consent. Period. FULL. STOP. What they did was flat-out illegal. Not to mention creepy. He probably DOES have a drinking problem, but how does that make what they did any less creepy or illegal?? Short answer: IT DOESN'T! It doesn't change a damn thing. And here's what really gets me about this actually: Would you be saying the same thing if the poster were female? My guess is that if the gender or assumed gender of this person were the opposite, a whole lot more people would be agreeing that what they did was wrong, instead of trying to imply that the violation the victim feels is "just desserts". And that just smacks of not only a double standard but a somewhat creepy one (and I say this as a woman!). And how about this: Would you say the same if it were a necessary medication they had a prescription for that knocked them out? Or if they had hit their head accidentally? Or if they hadn't had any drinks or drugs that they knew of and were just having an ordinary nap? Tell me: if it had been any of those circumstances instead, would this still be so "funny"? Hmm? In short, this was sexual assault, and sexual assault is NEVER RIGHT. Ever. It's illegal for a reason, to keep assholes like this from crossing the line. and I direct this at the OP: your friends are creepy, criminal, and also assholes bud, in addition to you probably having a bit of a drinking problem (you may or may not be alcoholic but I'm pretty sure that taking in more than you can handle is still a bad idea). Your life sure IS ******, but please do something about it. If nothing else, by never hanging out with those creeps again.
FMLPanda89 0
golf clap.
sdroze1389 31
this is my favorite book
Xaos 0
@#35: To say this is sexual assault is ridiculous. Sure, it's maybe in bad taste, it's also funny. He shouldn't have drank so much in the first place. It's not like they involved him sexually (I mean, in a way that involved his orifices or his genitalia) .. They used him as a prop.. I mean, shit, shameful as it is for the guy, it's not rape.
yplasencia21 0
dayyyummmm.. thats crazy. but honestly those people where freaks.
chris_3eb 0
Wow #35 needs to chill. A sex prop means that the girl's body is just propped up by the unconscious guys body. There is no sexual assault going on
truth_fml 0
Words cannot describe the hilarity of this FML.
MCart_fml 0
In total agreement with #36. I've had friends get less drunk than that and had far more horrible things done to them than this. If you're passed out at a party you're basically part of the furniture anyway, so his new title of "love wedge" is appropriate and freaking hilarious IMO.
Wkks7 0
I know I shouldn't...but that nickname...it made me laugh xD
koalaberry18 0
Sorry to hear that, Love Wedge. One day you'll look back on this and laugh.
summersong89 0
haha oh my god "love wedge"?? im sorry, but the nickname made me giggle. im sorry for you man. that's kinda creepy, not to mention gross/awkward. i mean, having 2 naked people, who are probably leaking bodily fluids, rubbing and bumping against your unconsious self? nasty.. well, at least this can be a lesson to not drink so much at parties?