Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
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Top comments
hales_fml 0
"love wedge" made me laugh SO hard.
what_the_fuhh 0
damn, that fucken sucks ass dude. sorry
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Comments (85)
kagome_eb 0
don't get drunk. your own fault
zap_fml 0
I'm so glad I didn't read this in a public space, I just laughed so ******* much. Jesus christ. That name has made my day.
neonoodle 0
Shake that bear.
thisismyname_fml 1
Yeah #23. 15, 16, all totally have it right. Don't ever drink alcohol ever. It is the devil. In fact, move to a Quaker village and you can just whittle your day away. ******* seriously people, people can get carried away sometimes, if the OP was at a party with friends (even if they do apparently have demented morals) then whatever. If the OP was a woman who got raped because she drank too much would you say she deserved it? Actually don't bother answering that, I probably already know what you morally superior pricks think.
tokyooo123 0
HAHAHA
Cryptix 0
You call them friends huh?
daedalus_fml 0
wow...
Angrymuffinsrus 0
I can seriously not feel bad for the poster at all... If you were smart, you would not drink until you passed out, and then none of this would have happened. Maybe you have a problem and should call AA
formosababie 0
hahahahah "the love wedge"... that is excellent.
Kitten125 0
... oh snap love wedge. I'm gonna have to say you deserved that one.