Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
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Top comments
hales_fml 0
"love wedge" made me laugh SO hard.
what_the_fuhh 0
damn, that fucken sucks ass dude. sorry
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Comments (85)
Jimboom 12
Ewww.. Not kewl. But funny. Just be grateful that they didn't slip and end up in you or something like that.
pbnjeff 0
That's funny as hell, but, you deserved this for not knowing how much you can handle!
Canicula_fml 2
I'd feel soiled, lol, but it's still way too funny to be pissed about. Turn the joke round on them, be proud of your new ability, tell people he wouldn't have been able to do anything without your support, you were the key ingredient, he can't get it up without you etc etc.
annonohmus 0
Get different friends. That's ****** up.
Jimboom 12
Or try another tack. Stop getting that drunk at parties. Just because everyone around you is and eggs you on doesn't mean you need to get that wankered that you pass out. I go out with friends and drink quite a lot, never get that drunk that I am out of control. It's not a nice place to be. I hope this experience has taught you the same. Besides, if you hang back while everyone else gets slaughtered then you could be using your friends as a sex wedge... or do funny things to them when they are asleep to give them a stupid nickname. :-P
MasaMushia 0
Haha, agreed #16. Hey, if it makes you feel better though, at least you inadvertently got some action. But that's still pretty gross. Enjoy your STD I'm sure!
nickeris 0
If your lab results come back and you end up having a STI, then I'll give you the "you're ******" vote.
lifesuckseggs 0
if you have STD, make sure you do something damn right life-spoiling to your so called "Friends"
Timmytwofinger 0
HA HA GUTTED, LOVE WEDGE! thats what happens when you drink too much
skatingweasel 0
Congrats, you were in some strange way part of a threesome.