SamWGovan
London, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
Top comments
CyborgBanana 12
BOOM! Headshot...
NzaHaFML 13
So what did it taste like?
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Comments (242)
bwzwally8 15
Hahaha first time I've heard it being called gherkin.
aerogxt 7
Aw come on...o wait, you already did.
Kaerunoutof 3
Self-bukkake
DivaDemona 6
Nice one, rocketman ;)
metalhead4740 14
Of all the phrases for masturbation, jerkin the gherkin is probably the worst. Polishing the pearled ceptor of love is classier...
skyfire21 3
You'll go blind doing that!
legend777 7
I really hope you never mention this to anyone. Not something to really "share"
joethebiden 8
"Horatio, the victim was found with his face covered in his own semen" "Well I guess he died from a..." *puts on glasses* "...self-inflicted cumshot wound" YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA-
dan_in_wi 12
nice CSI reference! haha
dan_in_wi 12
haha, don't lie... your so lonely you had to give yourself a facial! really? wtf kinda excuse is zoning out? I'm pretty sure that should be the only thing your focused on at the time? loser...
nicopo_fml 11
Love the joe dirt reference. And nice shot buddy