Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
Today, I called out of work, making an elaborate claim my wife was sick, and that I HAD to stay home to take care of her, because I have never played hooky from work before. That afternoon, at a minor league hockey game as I'm buying a hotdog with my wife, my boss from behind me asked, "How's the fam?" FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML
Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML
Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML
Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
I thought you score in hockey when you get the puck into the goal, not the stick.
bridgette5866 0
so y'all need to hide yo dick, hide yo balls, hide your dick, hide yo balls, and hide yo asshole cuz they rapin errbody in here
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Comments (163)
ilovemydoodle123 0
uhhhhh no ****?
CO_Dorvanski 5
No, there _are_ 5 months.
elmorous 0
tell everyone
jessicaaababy 8
that's soo wrong, i'd stay away and watch out for your little crush ;] ew haha
biskitbukit 7
LoL, that is disgusting, and btw your a sexy bitch ;)
iKam16 2
Your hot.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I'm trying to think of what 'connect' would mean, in this scenario, and I've come to two conclusions: Buttsex or sausage fight.
HappyPickles 11
by "connect", he could have been asking for a blow-job ... or a hand-job... ... He *might* even have been asking to be kicked in the nuts - but that's probably less likely...
sebcola13 0
Hey ! i like football too. my favorite team is Marseille (Om). Liverpool didn't started the season well.
LOLSWAT 0
connect? what, like docking?
pcakewafflebacon 0
homies over hoes. homies over hoes. do the hommieee haha
winger17 0
lol our showers arnt as straight up gay like that but they get pretty weird. so touching or anything just the ****** up talk that goes on. but we are not gay, we are teammates
SoldieroftheLORD 0
Ahh god I play too but I've never ended up with a gay kid
HappyPickles 11
Well from the sound of it, when you said "no thanks", he left it at that - so no harm done. It's no different to your asking a girl on a date and her saying "no thanks" - does that mean the two of you have to be awkward with each other for the rest of your lives? ... actually, no.
azhein 0
he was naked in front of a guy asking if he wanted to connect. that seems like it would be pretty awkward to me.