Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was good fun getting a nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would've been better if I hadn't forgotten my Demak'up. Even better if I could've avoided the crazy glances in the bus home. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half-closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML
Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML
Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
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Top comments
stealthkitten 3
haha, that's funny. you better rock that purple eyeliner now ;)
Mielad 0
Make an excuse.. Say someone hit you and your eye is bleeding purple pus and you will die from a horrible disease if you suffer from bullying
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Comments (235)
stealthkitten 3
haha, that's funny. you better rock that purple eyeliner now ;)
buzz18 7
haha that sucks broski
MagicGiraffe 12
I'm wondering what he is for Halloween...
crazycornn 0
purple eyeliner? who are you going as, David boey? xD
pooper191817 0
Boy George?
warpig182 0
Hes goin as your dad
atalia831 0
put coverup on your eyes?
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
buy makeup remover? better than walking around with it on for a few days.
nkt_19 0
get some make up remover, or use Vaseline, it takes off make up as well. good luck
pooper191817 0
nice pic #61 this shows that everyone shouldn't have Internet access.
warpig182 0
Does my pic scare you?
imaginaryvoice 18
I'm sure you look bootiful :]
pooper191817 0
it dosent scare anyone to see a 10 yr old holding a red rider bb-gun just a little disturbing
1221jamw 11
No, it's not scary it just shows how incredibly stupid you are. Have a terrible life!
warpig182 0
Well I'm not stupid for one. Also I'm not 10. And third its not a bb gun its a double barrel shotgun. It's the only picture I had in my phone.
rallets 23
youll poke you eye out kid!!
pooper191817 0
i want an official red ryder two hundred shot range model air rife!" with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time. is your name ralphie by chance?
Selena_is_back 7
let me get this straight, ok you're a 14-year old kid with a gun??? how the hell? keep playing like that and you'll end up buried 15 feet underground.
warpig182 0
Alright so what else is there to do in Colorado other than sports, hunting, fishing, and videogames. Those are the cheapest things to do here anyways.
pooper191817 0
Try getting laid, loser
warpig182 0
Like you ever will
KCTruth4 0
126=WIN
Hayman68 4
YDI for wearing make-up
Sirin_fml 47
I feel terrible for breaking up this obviously quite beautiful and touching party, but do you think you could take it to private messaging? MSN? Facebook? Myspace? Maybe even telepathically beam insults backwards and forth between your beautiful minds?
warpig182 0
Sorry theres no messaging on my phone
pooper191817 0
Sirin the peacemaker tell me something have u ever sucked one sweeter than mine?
Sirin_fml 47
Then I strongly recommend the "beam mean thoughts to them" strategy.
warpig182 0
I have no idea where she lives
Sirin_fml 47
Ah well, then there's nothing I can do for you, besides giving you the address to a liquor store, and this empty vodka bottle. I feel like such a failure. I hope I can be forgiven for my lack of psychic powers.
Siji 0
I'm 16 with several guns o_o ....that's Texas though...
warpig182 0
Hell maybe they'll give me a refill. And besides everybody owns atleast one gun. Except crazy liberals. Atleast here they do.
DocBastard 40
Warpig- Allow me to translate Sirin's rather cryptic message to you. Shut the hell up. Don't have a private 1-on-1 conversation in the comment section. Just a hint- see that "(FML Staff)" after Sirin's name? Amazingly enough, that means she's one of those "mods" you always hear about but don't often see. She can ban you. Or worse, she can change your comment to say whatever crosses her mind. So mind your manners and do what she says.
nico123_fml 0
smooth one genius !
KiddNYC1O 22
Silence! Sirin has spoken.
warpig182 0
shit sorry
warpig182 0
Sorry guys gosh it doesnt show that on the mobile app good God nothing bad has happend.... Yet
Sirin_fml 47
Thanks for the translation, DocBastard ;-)
DocBastard 40
Wait, I didn't say that! "Someone" must have changed my comment! All I said was, "lolololol your stupid!!11!eleventyone"
KiddNYC1O 22
Sirin, I miss your old pic!
the_flirtt 0
I didn't read the commenting rules, therefore I like to tweak my nipples while crying in the corner.
ohthebloodygore 16
158, and all this time I thought staff was short for quarterstaff. The mods don't stick fight with medieval weapons?! What a kill joy.
marinus_fml 20
I have guns?!
the_flirtt 0
haha wow what was wrong with my comment haha ??
ohthebloodygore 16
178, that you tweak your nipples.
comedycentral56 0
hahaha
TheCountess 4
Rock climbing, camping, hiking, mountain biking, skiing, snowboarding, kayaking...to name a few. Colorado is definitely not lacking when it comes to fun activities.
jewban 3
skiing is expensive haha
zerobahamut03 2
I guess people would have found out sooner or later on your trans-gender tendencies OP. No biggie.
shinco_fml 0
148 - arguing more proves your point. I can clearly understand what you are trying to achieve, and by doing so, you should totally respond to this in a distressed manner.
Clitorasaurus 0
Now you'll look gay. :/
valri3 0
Wow is that good or bad?
Fortuitous 0
To which definition of gay are you referring, Ignorance?
suppressed08 2
Ignorance, that was perfect. There's nothing wrong with being gay, in the right context. Simply stop viewing being gay, or the word gay, as a bad thing.
Lolelephant 0
Homosexuality...our generation corrupted the word gay...
ohthebloodygore 16
111, idiots corrupted the word gay.
the_flirtt 0
180 thats what the mod put not me
anorangebaby 1
such hostility in the air
ohthebloodygore 16
185, of course they did...
Lolerskatez 0
lololol, he needs to learn to use makeup remover xD and if that doesn't work, use metho, either way get hurt physically by that or the random passersby
suppressed08 2
So you'd beat someone because they had make up on? ..
claireful 4
#2 I have to say, your pic made me laugh harder than any of the fmls I've seen today.
gress269 4
#251, it made me laugh harder than any FML I've EVER read.
lacrossekid 0
yeah yeah it was a costume ... we all know your a full time hooker !!!
bethany_camille 0
I was guessing Lady Gaga of something!
furgigirl 4
lol what's your costume? drag queen?!?
xcali_chicax 0
haha you should use mineral oil designed to take makeup off :) it works wonders
Sun_Kissed18 25
If he's a single guy in his 20s-30s, chances are he doesn't have legit make-up remover. I suggest Vaseline, sounds weird but it works realllly well
lemoncows 2
Adam lambert lol
ArianS2 0
Hooker.
hahoon11 0
he's going as a transvestite from transexual transylvania
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
yeah probably. That's what I'd guess anyway :}
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
yeah... I don't think so
Mielad 0
Make an excuse.. Say someone hit you and your eye is bleeding purple pus and you will die from a horrible disease if you suffer from bullying
neversayYES 0
or how about you tell everyone you're gay
BakNBitz 0
69 wins.
franniedottp 8
lol, 69
missrawrzy 0
or u could just tell ppl the truth
beccusmaximus 0
Yeah, baby wipes work like magic
tamoodielovesmar 1
or he can just use vaseline, it works for me
kendra0316 0
No shit Halloween is Sunday. Lmfao. Thanks captain obvious! Haha
violetsweety 26
halloween is saturday O_o
hunt4396 0
wow you freaking moron it's Sunday
Hannerzzz 0
it's Sunday this year :)
kendra0316 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No shit Halloween is Sunday. Lmfao. Thanks captain obvious! Haha
NiqueNique09 6
Uh, well since its on the website, Halloween may not be coming up on Sunday smart one...
DevianceIsBliss 0
I would find it to be rather amusing to see a guy walking the street with bright purple makeup on.
goldiefox 0
hahaha hooker much?! maybe you should of read the instructions....I know guys don't normally read instructions but there could be an exception for a gay guy! =P
LexSwift 17
should HAVE*
wildcatman 0
Actually, he just spelled out "should've" with how it literally sounds, "should of." See? They sound the same! Oho!
starberries 0
It's still stupid and wrong.
goldiefox 0
look guys I'm sorry for my mistake and grammar nazis scare me! and I'm a girl not a guy thank you very much!
goldiefox 0
look guys I'm sorry for my mistake and I'm scared of grammar nazis! and I'm a girl not a guy thank you very much! =]
goldiefox 0
oh shut up! ok I said sorry! enough said!
BakNBitz 0
Ignorance scares me.
goldiefox 0
haha! =P ^^^
DocBastard 40
Bakn, Ignorance isn't so scary. Just make sure you have plenty of wolfsbane and lima beans. Easy!
LexSwift 17
Goldiefox- I didn't mean to scare you. I was just helping you out. (:
goldiefox 0
Ok apology accepted! And yeah it's ok!
Sparx1_1 16
What exactly is the problem? So you leave the make up alone and just let the people who matter know that you had a crappy halloween make up incident. Sure people might tease, you but it's not the end of the world. If you're that much of a baby and can't cope try phoning the beauty department at the nearest pharmacy and ask for a recommendation to get it off.