Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
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Top comments
konkonsn 0
Never understood what was wrong with "screaming like a girl." Why is it "girly" to scream over something that terrifies you? Oh, I guess you could stay silent while that weed-wacker is coming towards you. You'll die, but at least you wouldn't have died "manly." -_-
grocky 0
I would still freak out if the snake were dead.
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Comments (81)
organismal 0
ydi for freaking out over a stupid snake. i have a couple of them living in my room, lol. i mean, i've encountered a few rattlers and i just take a stick and flip them out of the way. really not that scary. and, by the way, i'm a 17 year old girl. no screaming like a little sissy for me!
periodictable 0
ydi for running on the wrong side of the road. that annoys the hell out of me. unless you are in the UK, in which case just ignore this comment
birdierising 16
Yes, I totally agree!
yeahitstella 0
So what? You saw a dead snake. Big deal. Don't get embarrassed over such a stupid thing.
birdierising 16
Saw dead snake --> jumped into a car that was driving down the road.
RPGod 0
When the OP said that he was 'Screaming like a girl' it probably means a very high-pitched scream. OP: YDI for jumping. It's just a snake.
Cittenscollar 0
32 - You're supposed to run opposite side of the cars so that you can see them coming.
peckster 0
hehe. i find that amusing. ;)
lizzieandhannah 0
this isnt true
some_user 0
ok so how are you still alive if you jump in front of a car? LAMEEEE, NEXTTTTT
birdierising 16
Getting hit at low speed is most definitely not fatal most of the time.
vag_fml 0
AND???? .................................
heyyimkell 2
LOL, I'd do the exact same thing. I do that even to spiders, I can't stand them either. Not your fault, how would you know it was dead? Snakes aren't always moving. Where I live, I've never seen a snake in the wild, there probably are grass snakes and stuff, but I've never seen them.