Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML
Today, while stumbling drunkenly down a trail, I saw a sign that said "Watch for Falling Rocks." I spent the next five minutes confused and wondering how I was supposed to know which rocks were planning to fall. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I tripped on a rock, fell in a pond, and lost my phone. All while dressed as a banana for a charity run. FML
Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Just run, OP. You'll be the rabbit, and the turtle can be... the turtle.
lordslaya53 14
Oh snap you better run!
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Comments (77)
Nyx_fml 23
Just run, OP. You'll be the rabbit, and the turtle can be... the turtle.
Stylux_fml 16
Then wouldn't the turtle still catch up to him?
Nyx_fml 23
Only if OP falls asleep. Or faints.
lordslaya53 14
Oh snap you better run!
friedpwnadge 25
Sounds like a pain in the ass.
flashback.miss 28
Bend and snap!
Iknoweverything 29
NO.
ihpp 22
This makes me wanna look up clips from Legally Blonde the musical
iluvFMLs15 19
It works everytime!!!
ikilledaman 9
WHAT THE **** IS UP WITH YOUR PICTURE? HOLY SHIT
horsesaboveppl 9
1 is right, run.
untouchable763 10
So what happened? Don't cliff hanger me like that!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
OP and the turtle had an interesting chat. OP explained how his crazy fiancé's father shot him recently. Hence why he felt faint. He said he called off the wedding citing insane father in law as the primary reason.
Myo_fml 20
I hope OP had good reflexes. If one of those latches on, it won't let go even if the head is removed.
anabuddy123 10
Ouch, poor you and I guess the turtle was defending itself
thatgirlincali 13
Ouch, hopefully you're okay.
cottoncandymango 17
Well didn't ya know? The turtle was just giving you a friendly greeting.
QQMorePlox 18
Leave the turtles alone, you are not Mario.
SolarFlare 20
I hope it wasn't a spiky koopa/spiny
Clay_Pidgeon 11
As long as it didn't bite you, I don't see a problem here.