Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
konkonsn 0
Never understood what was wrong with "screaming like a girl." Why is it "girly" to scream over something that terrifies you? Oh, I guess you could stay silent while that weed-wacker is coming towards you. You'll die, but at least you wouldn't have died "manly." -_-
grocky 0
I would still freak out if the snake were dead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
idreamofpeace 0
LOL, well, that's better than being bitten by a snake that WAS alive, really.
Shadaez 0
YDI for being sexist.
boatiebanter 0
Surely just jumping OVER the snake will get you equally far away from it as jumping into the road, in front of a car? If you're running at the side of the road, staying as far away from cars as possible should be so ingrained in your mind that you automatically jump in ANY other direction but into the road. YDI.
yer_maw 1
"Today, I was running outside" OMG REALLY?! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD RUN OUTSIDE. D: The car should've ran over you :|
xO_starstruck_xO 0
LMFAO what a pussy.
boredomnesses 0
heey some snakes are still deadly if they're dead or have just died or something. idk i heard it somewhere.. not sure if its true but maybe it will make you feel better? :P I hate snakes to.. ive run into the middle of the road to get away from a harmless one myself (although it was alive.. and my brothers friend had put it on my neck to scare me).
poolshark 0
You're lucky it wasn't alive because it probably would have struck at you in self defense for jumping around. If you ever see a snake, calm down and step back slowly.
Kamazar 0
Believe me, everyone that posts here has/will at least cringe if they see a snake, unless they're a nature type. I've been at zoos where people (ok, usually, chicks, but still) will look through a WINDOW and go, "OMG, look at that snake. It's coming at me, squeal, it's gonna come through the glass. Oh, guess not. AAAAH!!!"
the_holy_one 0
hahaha how embarrasing! ydi
mattiscool 0
even if its alive.. who gets scared of snakes.