Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
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Top comments
konkonsn 0
Never understood what was wrong with "screaming like a girl." Why is it "girly" to scream over something that terrifies you? Oh, I guess you could stay silent while that weed-wacker is coming towards you. You'll die, but at least you wouldn't have died "manly." -_-
grocky 0
I would still freak out if the snake were dead.
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Comments (81)
Pandora_NoBox 0
LOL! I might have screamed too, even if I knew it was dead.
sm0508 0
How is this an FML, OP? You saw a snake on the ground, its natural to get scared if you're not a snake lover. It'd be more of an FML if you were an 18-40 year old guy though :]
birdierising 16
Well, the "jumped in front of a car" part isn't that great, and come to find out the snake was dead anyway? That's an FML pretty clearly.
Daniruu 4
I'd do the same thing, man.
RiverRelic 0
If I saw a car screaming like a girl I'd be freaked too.
gummubears293 0
dont say screaming like a girl its sexist!
24788 7
#25 Women are nothing without mans power HAHA, I could only imagine you screaming. UGH, men are nothing without women in general.
Peanu_theGreat 0
At least it WAS a snake. What if it had been a twig or something? THEN, maybe, your life could be ******. For like, a day. Men are such... men.
Syrhk 0
Same kinda thing happens to me sometimes! Not really with snakes, moreso with spiders. And I'm willing to bet lots that most of the people making fun of you for being scared are probably guilty of having the same thing happen to them. Also.. since when is it sexist to say "scream like a girl"? Get over it. You women complaining about that are way more sexist to men than they are to you.
kimisaparasite 0
how is screaming like a girl sexist thats just stupid
Dabookofnothing 0
Ive loved snakes since i was seven and im the girliest girly girl you willl ever meet in your entire life