Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
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Top comments
konkonsn 0
Never understood what was wrong with "screaming like a girl." Why is it "girly" to scream over something that terrifies you? Oh, I guess you could stay silent while that weed-wacker is coming towards you. You'll die, but at least you wouldn't have died "manly." -_-
grocky 0
I would still freak out if the snake were dead.
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Comments (81)
EnchiladaTaco 0
HAAHAHAHAHA
LinneaHall 0
you were on the wrong side of the road, you're supposed to run facing traffic. ydi.
TheRedPhantom 0
lol that's golden!
Zodaicz 4
Sir...I am disappoint.
nutnfancy1 0
was this in a town near austin?
yaknowiverse 0
my friend did that to one of our teachers.
enzomankill 2
Did the car hit you or did you hit the car
accidentprone3 4
You sound stupid when you say,"screamed like a girl." it is insulting and why is it so wring that you got scared. I would have sone the same.
ddddddddg 9
What kind of snake?
iLike2Teabag 27
Winp