Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML
Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML
Today, I had to chase off the Eastern Brown snake that's been hanging around. When it doubled back, I fell over trying to move out of its way and landed in a bush that contained 3 separate wasp nests. My body feels like it is on fire and the snake is now in my chook shed, refusing to leave. FML
Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
konkonsn 0
Never understood what was wrong with "screaming like a girl." Why is it "girly" to scream over something that terrifies you? Oh, I guess you could stay silent while that weed-wacker is coming towards you. You'll die, but at least you wouldn't have died "manly." -_-
grocky 0
I would still freak out if the snake were dead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
waxstigmata 0
well, it was a real snake, how could you have known if you were running? glad youre not dead from the car!
td2 0
#13, If you didn't know that, then you're going to be shocked that you can run inside too, and since it was relevant to the story, I suggest you shut the F*** up with the stupid sarcasm. And to all you going on and on about the term 'screams like a girl' to be sexist, think before you speak. Generally, girl screams are more high-pitched and panicy than guys screams. Its sexist in the same way 'tom girl' is used to describe a girl who acts like a guy, or any other term like it. I suggest you all Stop trying to find a problem where there is none.
Blobenshnogen 0
thats still a ****** snake! you don't know if in a split second its dead or its about to strike....then again, I wouldn't scream like a little bitch about it
briana83 0
That sucks :-( I'm not afraid of snakes, but I'm terrified of roaches. If I see one I scream and run as fast as I can away from it. I don't bother waiting to see if it's alive. I totally sympathize. FYL.
Drunkbunny 2
Your survival instincts could use some honing if you reflexively see a moving vehicle as less dangerous than a snake.
Socrates_fml 0
u can survive at least a couple hours from a poisonous snake bite, but you won't last long with your head separated from your torso. choose better next time. here's a hint: one of them can heal
periodictable 0
35 - he said he jumped to the left if he was on the correct side of the road (in the states) he would have ended up in the grass, not in traffic
swagmonkey 0
OP: Your life isn't ******. You didn't get run over. Consider yourself lucky. 35 and 47: It only matters which side of the road you run on when there isn't a sidewalk. If there is, it's not an issue. The OP didn't specify, so quibbling over it is pretty useless.
catballou 1
Dead or alives, snakes scare me to death, too. Sorry, buddy.
youhavenolife69 0
dead snake=1: OP= 0 lol that suks #13 you are an idiot. the snake will bite you if you try to jump over moron