Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML
Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML
Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
Today, at the gym, I was trying to look cool doing pull-ups in front of someone I liked. On my first pull-up, my hand slipped, and I fell backwards onto a yoga ball, which shot me straight into another guy doing push-ups. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
Hasn't FML taught you not to try dumb stuff to impress girls?
TrippingOnAcid 29
There are many important life lessons to be learned on FML. Going out of your way to impress someone will likely end in disaster.
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Comments (93)
feven 32
Hasn't FML taught you not to try dumb stuff to impress girls?
MrConcise 35
We don't let FML teach us things, otherwise we'd never be able to entertain each other.
184886837272837 32
Yes OP, next time just grow a pair and talk to her. That alone will impress her more than you climbing.
cre8tvlylicnsd 14
Spin in: Tell her you fell for her. (Literally and figuratively...)
JMichael 26
You mean we're supposed to learn from these things??
wallamanut 14
Haven't you been on the Internet lately, #13? Tumblr says talking to women in public is sexual harassment.
DarksideDoll 31
The fart was the cherry on top of a bad decision sundae.
WallyQ 18
Either you weren't wearing a harness (YDI), or your belayer was bad... (FYL)
Varieus 30
I mean... it says "I had my equipment on" that would make me think he had the harness on.
doctorhook86 25
#6: On the other hand, falling to the floor and breaking your arm suggests otherwise...
Kevin1157 10
#2,#31, the way I imagine this is that he had his harness on and he jumped from the floor to try to start higher, missed and then landed funny on his arm causing the break. Can't blame a belayer for someone basically falling from the ground and breaking an arm.
AnOriginalName 19
A lot of climbing gyms will allow what's called "bouldering." Either there is a dedicated area with short features, or there's a limit as to how high climbers can go on the main walls, but a harness/belay isn't required when bouldering. (A harness is still helpful if you have a chalk bag that you want with you.) In the bouldering-specific areas there isn't even a place to affix belaying equipment. But even a padded floor will break bones if you land awkwardly.
onlychildFTW 34
I don't know how people can rock climb. I would literally crap my pants if I did that.
AOart1st 9
I was wearing a harness but I was bouldering. that's the thing-no balayer
Demoniq 25
At least with the increasing severity of events, I doubt anyone remembered / heard your fart, OP!
TrippingOnAcid 29
There are many important life lessons to be learned on FML. Going out of your way to impress someone will likely end in disaster.
kcpestwick 15
Smooth
Murilirum 23
Unfortunate for sure ! Sorry to hear OP. Best of luck with the healing process.
tony1891 22
i hate to break it to you. but you failed.
silvercamaro 22
I'm sure she noticed you then, Sorry OP
184886837272837 32
Was the mat okay?
cakefete2 31
No, it was... depressed.
razoray9 22
I have to give it to u #28. U actually made "break" into laughter
onlymytwocents 9
Really don't consider a fake gym rock wall, rock climbing. YDI just for that alone
samntack 1
Right? The hardest climb "IN THE GYM".
AnOriginalName 19
10, you should go to a dedicated climbing gym. If you can still move your fingers after an hour, come back here and let us know how it was.
PSYqualiac 17
Some gyms are harder than most mountains.
T1A2Z3 35
Real rocks are definitely more realistic and useful and actually easier. I swear they make those gyms so difficult. It's next to impossible to hold onto those hand holds and sometimes you actually have to pull yourself with your arms which you shouldn't have to do. Real rocks are way better and they don't wobble.
hazelnuts 15
Great dedication! Graceful like a swan.