Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML
Today, our boss told me and her other salaried staff, "There is literally no problem this office faces that can't be solved by you all working after hours and on weekends." FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my boss continued to orchestrate behind the scenes with my colleagues to make me look bad for her lack of organization. Then she showed up 10 minutes late to a meeting, shared that she needed a vacation, and realized that she needed to micromanage less. I've been asking her to make that change for months. FML
Today, I thought working through the holidays would mean little to do and the boss telling me stories all day. Actually, it meant having loads to do, while my boss was telling me stories regardless, effectively keeping me from doing the work he is paying me for. FML
Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML
Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML
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Top comments
Indianboy9321 25
Hopefully you can still manage to enjoy the holiday, regardless of your boss' inability to be a true person in charge. Happy Thanksgiving!
Jared900DUmpling 30
Im honestly not sure if "psychically divine" was a mistype or a term ive never heard before. Either way, sorry op about your boss. Might want to consider speaking to the higher-ups about her behavior and task management, if possible.
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Comments (23)
Indianboy9321 25
Hopefully you can still manage to enjoy the holiday, regardless of your boss' inability to be a true person in charge. Happy Thanksgiving!
ckerane 16
someone needs a chill pill
Jared900DUmpling 30
Im honestly not sure if "psychically divine" was a mistype or a term ive never heard before. Either way, sorry op about your boss. Might want to consider speaking to the higher-ups about her behavior and task management, if possible.
Cads1 24
That's the way, escalate the problem without at least trying to talk to your boss. What ever happen to problem solving at the lowest level?
higgysaurus 18
"physically divine" means to pull out of thin air basically.
higgysaurus 18
Shit my bad, it says psychically and not physically, good for you for catching that.
Matteo_G 16
I'm guessing it means to divine with his mind, psychically like in psyichic power or psychic(pokèmon move)
Wideout40 21
They might mean "physically divide"
chinaski7628 32
5—you're actually correct about the meaning, just not the spelling. Psychically: (adverb) related to psychic, of the spiritual or mental Divine: (verb): to prophesy. In other words, to pull out of thin air. I guess "psychically" is one of those words that just never looks like a real word or like it's never spelled correctly. :)
9a_1z 12
Have you ever read Harry Potter? Divination is called Divination because they psychically divine things.
torrea 19
You mean God? lol "physically divine"
AlysoninAlaska 19
Working during the holidays is stressful. Sorry OP, just one more month, you can do it!
WallyQ 18
Working during holidays in retail is stressful, you'll be fine :)
RaggedClown 11
I'd swear you work for my boss, if you weren't in a different state. Chin up, OP. You're not in it alone.
Hildy93 21
What a bitch
jmn_608 1
Of all the FMLs I posted, I never thought this one would make it. Not in retail, but for a company that helps people with their businesses. Part of that is locating various standards, government and other. We had a tough client come in. My boss told everyone that she'd handled lots of cases like his, she knew the regs backwards and forwards, no no OP, don't research that, you're wasting your time. Suddenly, the day before Thanksgiving, it's my fault that we don't have an answer for him and all the people we can ask are away. My assistant and I both ended up staying late, while she left early after her temper tantrum. Can't talk to anyone higher up because it's a family-run company and she's daddy's princess.
torrea 19
Tell her she's a stupid bitch. Tell her it's now slang for the best boss sounds
WBM1997 4
Under the bus we go...
Mr_Swazi 11
Is throwing them out the window an option?