Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet "How are you baby?" from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: "Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!" FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, after spending a day in the ER and a day in hospital, I was recovering from emergency surgery. My boyfriend left to eat and didn't come back. He texted me 4 hours later that he was drinking with his friends and that he loved his "brown eyed girl". My eyes aren't brown. FML
Today, after my man told me to get the dishes done and clean up the kitchen, he got mad at me because I didn’t answer my phone when our son needed medicine that was downstairs. I didn’t hear it ring because I was throwing out the trash, cleaning out the fridge, and washing the dishes, like I was told to do. FML
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Top comments
yeahthatsrite 0
dump that asshole
MaryFairy 3
wow... bastard! dump his jerk ass
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Comments (135)
govan1107 1
Drop his ass
BubbaJ80 11
I would have cooked you dinner and had flowers waiting for you
doglover100 29
Tell him to cook his own damn dinner.
fantasyworld 39
He expects you to drive to his house every day to cook dinner? Dump the asshole.
TheDvsOne 20
What an asshole. Why do guys like that ever get girlfriends in the first place
Valiumknights44 12
Sounds like a winner
tori3700 16
I would've smacked him with the frying pan.
Guru_Gal 12
He's obviously a bit of a sexist jerk in assuming that the woman should be cooking his food instead of doing it himself. He should learn to cook so that he isn't a complete waste of space.
OwlsMakeBowels 17
Did he not know about the surgery? if he did, he is a dick. you're healing
teacupofsunshine 29
Why wasn't he cooking you dinner?!.. Sounds like a winner op