Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Now that he has the taste for flesh. He will come back and finish you off this time with some A1 sauce and some Jamaican jerk sauce for variety
hollylollyxoxo 0
LOL I didn't know angry bears bit asses :P
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Comments (106)
hollylollyxoxo 0
LOL I didn't know angry bears bit asses :P
Daerauko 0
yes bare asses lol
andres19 0
angry bears tend to bite and maul everything in sight
ShatteredDreams8 0
*and a 19
DaveOnDope 4
You'd be surprised what an angry bear will do to you when you're bent over!
gutzz 0
It was his turn huh? May I ask why you were biting little kids in the ass first? YDI, you creep.
maa_rico 4
Can't blame the kid for being an ass man, better than being a boobs man, a bite in your **** that shit really gotta hurt.
MrGold 0
your pic fails. that will only occur in some weird universe.
prince122 0
so will urs gold....
bennybenben12 0
4 - win:)
4XxXo_OxXx4 0
gold its a picture of a solar eclipse but it shows the sun's invisible magnetic field.
UtterCatastrophe 4
I thought 34 was talking about 32??
dolphincheddar 10
at least he did not bit you triangularly or circular. that hurts even more
FeedMonkeyking 4
That's exactly what I was thinking.
RoxRoidz 0
gutzz, baby, you've got it ALL WRONG. Just because the kiddie bit her on her on the ass, doesn't mean she bit them! Bears bite stuff, like they see on they're Cartoon Network, The Hub and all that crap. Or the movie.
kay2kay 1
Kids usually imitate what they see... what exactly did you do as the bear? lol.
SkateboardGirl88 11
Suprise buttsecks!! lol
stonercircle 0
well... did he say u taste good??? lol
Kefka91 15
well that bites. fyl
didijustdie 0
I see what you did tharr.
Igor_g5 0
Did you enjoy it? My GF loves when I bite her ass.
briidontgive_ 0
Uhh, ew. T M I
alfredo1177 0
or not enough TMI
gutzz 0
22- you are right, it's is just information. Cancellations are a bitch.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
5- u should try sucking the a hole. girls love that too.
esu 5
love bites
kingtz 6
I love biting my girls' asses, too!
MandaMazing 0
it hurts like hell when myy boyfriend bites mine.D:
PrissyPineapple 0
aww. my bfs never bit my ass. :(. I feel so left out.
ella868 0
uh.. tmi
danceforever51 4
Creeper.
staceysgenesis16 0
haha !! thats kinky !! well it would have been if the boy wouldnt have been under the age of 15 .. but hes 3 soooo .. bleh
enonymous 9
Now that he has the taste for flesh. He will come back and finish you off this time with some A1 sauce and some Jamaican jerk sauce for variety
ZingDooper 0
You mean Jamaican jerk rub? Jerk chicken tends to be made with a dry rub and not a sauce.
enonymous 9
they also have a lot of sauces made not just for chicken but pork and beef
gutzz 0
Ya, it's that important.
lamAzn 0
Man, shove your ***** up their ass infront of their parents then...
hockeyrocks39 0
Nasty Pedophile!
MrGold 0
You have a disturbed mind. More ****** up than inception.
ImaWiseGuy 5
8, save your childhood memories for your shrink.......
KingDingALing 9
"Bitch better have my honey!"
camerican21 1
Who gives a shit?
tayza249 20
You, seeing as how you read the FML and then proceeded to post a comment.
Thanatos1206 0
And the 19 month old girl, seeing as how she needed a changed diaper.
KristinaKreme 0
Future legend.
leeshxx 3
haha that's kinda cute in a strange sorta way! I like that child he is evil in the making!