Today, I’m living in China and I asked my native boyfriend to read me the names of all the different goods at the bakery, so I can do more than just point next time. I realized why he doesn’t see the point, when he translated : "Bread, bread, bread, bread and… bread." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML
Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I told a customer the bread he wanted has been discontinued. He replied with, "Are you serious? What is your name? I'm going up front to complain about you." I still don't understand how that's specifically my fault. FML
Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long-distance relationship, and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
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Top comments
Ambrily 27
Wow, supportive, really supportive.
JackFaire 27
That would be even more frustrating honestly if the person I was buying bread for was then picky about kind of bread. "Hey I didn't want bread I wanted bread" Uhm yeah
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Comments (4)
Ambrily 27
Wow, supportive, really supportive.
leximichelle 13
The language probably lacks the simple descriptive translation OP would find helpful. I took two years of mandarin in high school, and there’s no distinction between certain particular things. For instance, “rat” and “mouse” are both “shu,” so asking for a particular names in such an instance would indeed be pointless.
kfchicken 31
then how are the native speakers ordering without pointing if the whole menu is one world
JackFaire 27
That would be even more frustrating honestly if the person I was buying bread for was then picky about kind of bread. "Hey I didn't want bread I wanted bread" Uhm yeah
John Nemeth 14
WTF what kind of bakery just has bread where are the cookies and chocolates!?!! I want some cake godammit!
bloopaloop 27
China. That’s where.
millsjoshua949 12
Thats funny!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, there are different kinds of bread. Surely they're not all the same in that store, right?