Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Serisent 26
If you know he doesn't like it and you did it anyway, you sort of had it coming.
Peach_assassin 8
"Today I did something wrong and suffered the consequences. FML"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
xReDMemory 28
Excuse me,by that I mean that they are either ignorant of the damage they are doing or they are just that stupid to expect respect after doing the damage.
graceinsheepwear 34
You were bullying him.
madidawg 7
you instigated it man
Dashelle 25
And I'm sure you won't make that mistake again. When I was a kid I hated being tickled. But people would do it because it was "funny". Uggh. For THEM, maybe. After enough times of my dad tickling me, I finally started saying that I hated him. He got the picture pretty quickly after that.
Azrael9 11
YDI don't you understand boundaries? You had it coming. Kudos to the kid for making it known.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
Someone downvoted this? What the hell for?
Waredo_Dyrge 11
Gotta love it when wastes of oxygen downvote me just for asking a simple question. Internet: A place filled with human refuse.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Even six year olds get to set boundaries and can expect to have them respected. YDI.
awilliams44 9
I mean he doesn't like it
Waredo_Dyrge 11
What a ******* dumbass you are, 77. A child has a right to say no against unwanted touching. And the fact that OP knew the kid did not want to be tickled completely eliminates any sympathy I have for him. He deserves it 100%.
cmbar831 14
He showed you who's boss
lou9896 5
wow