Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML
Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
If he asks for your help to find a place to hide a dead body, for God's sake, DON'T HELP HIM!
tygerarmy 35
Nothing like the love a sibling.
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Comments (87)
BreadstickFTW 7
Outplayed.
mallu86 9
No. He's just being a little bitch.
FangirlingAlways 14
Little brothers are always little bitches. Atleast my brother is.
adrianh1090 12
Social life and family are two things that MUST be separated.
RinkuTheHero 13
People have been known to get into a lot of shit over ghe things they post on facebook. If he's under 18 then his family should check his facebook for things he's not supposed to do and tell him that shit doesn't fly.
GEBEH 14
C-C-C-Combobreaker!
rockne93 17
You win some, you lose some
theaaxis 27
Why is this thumbed down? o.O
JMichael 26
Because the FML community is a harsh one.
tygerarmy 35
Nothing like the love a sibling.
qyka1210 12
Except the love a mother
mallu86 9
#21 what are you talking about?
ThatGuyWhoTalks 10
Honestly how is it a "FML" if someone blocks you on Facebook?
rosenkrieger223 24
#53, it's not just that he was blocked, it's the fact that his brother asked him to show him how to block people, only to find out that he's the one his brother wanted to block. Normally, getting blocked on Facebook isn't FML-worthy, but the way it happened in this case is. Mostly because he was being nice to his brother by helping him, just to be shit on by said brother in the end.
TXFernwoods 26
Hah! Sucker!
shortunbiased 6
Smart kid, should have seen it coming
jazzy_123 20
yeah OP's brother probably has something to hide. I'm assuming he's in his teen years? Either way, I would think there's something fishy.
Zebediabolical 45
Or he's just sick of getting stupid posts from other people's facebook games.
koalabear_55 11
He beat you to it, may the rivalry continue
oj101 33
Why would you want to see his profile anyway/he sees yours? Unless you're very close in age, and share the same friendship group. There is such a thing as a healthy distance.
Pleonasm 36
Where's the like button on this FML?
michaelaranda 28
you did it again, should I resend that message?
That_Ginger 18
It's just Facebook. Not a huge deal. Maybe he just doesn't want family to see what he's up to all the time.
lildiva4life 11
Oh the irony ...