Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Remodeling
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I painted the guest bathroom. Once finished, I noticed the paint splatters on my arms matched my lily white chalky skin. Paint matches me better than my makeup. Guess I need a different paint, and new make up. FML
Steady on
Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML
Not respected anymore
Today, as a respected artist, I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Taint
Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
Top comments
afulcer 11
Oh that stinks... I hope you can paint over it with white!
zoegirl_455 30
Quick! paint everything black and claim you were influenced by the Rolling Stones
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
vijay_2002 1
rub it harder....may be itll turn white! :D LOLOLOL!
thisisg 9
try paint thinner?
Never2wonderland 5
They do say once you go black you never go back. God just blessed you! Honorary black shlong on a once white part cant be all that bad right?
cchuckcloninger 5
OMG!!! Hold the fort! Impossible to rub your hand on it again slightly to "non-penis" I suppose and re-paint when dry?
CrikOgresmasher 19
should've made it into a cross
ZeldaPaulThingy 17
Then just keep painting over it dumbass
katyviper 22
Just "accidentally" smudge a little more black on to it, so it doesn't look like that anymore :)