Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I got told I was too fat and needed to stop eating, because I need to lose weight. I was then given a full plate of food and had to eat it all. FML
Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Today, I started a diet to lose the 20lbs I put on during quarantine. It was also the day my body decided the diminished food intake means I'm trying to starve it to death, and must be punished with a horrible migraine. That's what I get for trying to be healthier. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML
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Top comments
NomOnShroomz 14
Omnomnom don't fight it, brownies are amazing.
candicurl 9
Looks like that diet * puts on sunglasses* will have to weight. YEAAAAAHHHHHHH
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Comments (162)
kkmwong 11
Stress is the biggest weight loss. Eat this tart in the picture.
writergirl23 19
Actually, I gain weight when I stress. And no, I eat less when I'm stressed, not more.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Brownies come in slab form now?? AMAZING.
stacianichole 2
Step 1: don't eat brownies.
instnt1nfction 17
Step 2: make brownies
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Step 3: eat the brownies
instnt1nfction 17
Step 4: make brownies
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
Step 5: take a shit and eat it like brownies
Person1233 13
Step 6: Make brownies again.
DKjazz 20
Step 7:???
DKjazz 20
Step 8: PROFIT!!!
leadman1989 16
YDI YDI YDI YDI YDI!!!! I admire the guy running in his basement, but YDI You dumb idiot!
flydragonpie 2
sheeshh
HereWeGoAgain23 4
YOU FAT ..... sort your life out, not difficult. stop making excuses
fthislyfe 22
She's not making excuses...
Emmy_The_Great 2
And she never said she was fat...stop jumping to conclusions. She wants to be healthier.
smurfsarwales 9
the fml kinda implies she's fat "thinner and healthier?" If you weren't fat you wouldn't be so desperate to turn to the Internet.
fthislyfe 22
87: not really true. Some people are not fat but they THINK they're fat. Like my mom...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
87 The Internet: Fatties Only. So why are you on the internet?
iluffmcrandbvb 1
so I guess that means your fat?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Here's to hoping you have a head the size of one serving of brownies.
Enslaved 38
Gather up the information and start your diet/exercise program tomorrow, fresh! I hope you enjoyed the brownie to the last bite, since it will be your last for awhile.(: Good luck!
ReynshineCutting 10
No worries OP. We all have to eat like that sometimes. The point is you've made the first step into looking into getting healthier. That right there is progress. It's a hard thing to do so don't torture yourself and enjoy those brownies every now and then!
its_love2 31
uhhhh the fact you realize the brownie is a bad idea proves you're kinda dumb ... or an attention seeker ... step one, don't eat shit duh ...
leadman1989 16
Cognitive dissonance at it's best.
shrdlu 28
Also multitasking, just not the right tasks