Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
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Top comments
bobafett892 23
Sounds like some cool old ladies
MortenM 17
Old people for 200 please.
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Comments (102)
bobafett892 23
Sounds like some cool old ladies
urdirtyolduncle 15
Those gals know now to get down
itsjusttofunny 8
Elders are so awesome.
LowExpectations 30
They sound young at heart.
askullnamedbilly 33
Once again, I really need a 'that actually sounds ******* awesome' button. FML and YDI aren't cutting it when it comes to cool grannies.
panicsdisaster 17
That's why they are called the golden years.
DarksideDoll 31
Agreed. Your grandma & her sis sound like BAMFs. This FML reminded me of Grandma's Boy, after they got into Sophie's tea.
Jessj958 19
Best grandma ever!
XPhoenixFire 17
They party hard. Wish i had that type of party in me
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
Seriously. Your grandma sounds badass
StantheMan93 12
My grandma just bitches about politics and gets mad at my grandpa for no reason. OP you have it good.
incoherentrmblr 22
Peter Griffin & Michael Moore accept this challenge...
sibeso 17
Right? Sounds good to me. T grandma refers to ketchup and sennep (which is Norwegian for mustard) as ketchup and penis. She tells us we'll eat catholics for dinner instead of koteletter (meaning pork chops). And she calls popcorn "cockporn". Still cool grandparenting in my book - as long as it's intended with humor I don't see the problem.
Joshwarrior 39
Hey at least you won't be bored (:
MortenM 17
Old people for 200 please.
euphoricness 28
It's not so bad as long as your grandma won the farting contest!
silvercamaro 22
How would that make OP's situation any better?
euphoricness 28
I hadn't realized how seriously people take FML lately. Oh well lol
marcranger 29
No matter who wins, OP loses.
soulebelius 17
It was a stupid comment from the get go. "Serious" or not.
KitchKraft 21
Ladies settle down
DoubleDosexo 12
I would've Gone and chilled in the back yard during their contest.
Llama_Face89 34
39- I see you have no profile picture. Might I suggest Buzzkillington from Family Guy.
Axipiter 24
41, that reminded me of the "Kitchen counsellor here" commercials.
kAPISH 29
Join them.
Axipiter 24
One of them! One of them!
Khaleesi_26 30
Well thats awkward. Just think every hour you tolerate it is one less hour to spend there.
cryssycakesx3 23
that's not how time works...
Khaleesi_26 30
i know how time works. im saying every hour that goes by youre closer to going home.
Godsofdracos 15
You're right 23; it flies!!!
weveallbeenthere 30
cool ladies, no boredom in that house.
Chibi_Kitten 24
I would invest in a face mask. You never know when that fart will turn into something else.
paramor3 23
Now that's a party!
ThepurpleCow 19
They may be old. But they know how to have fun!