Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML
Today, I got told I was too fat and needed to stop eating, because I need to lose weight. I was then given a full plate of food and had to eat it all. FML
Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Today, I started a diet to lose the 20lbs I put on during quarantine. It was also the day my body decided the diminished food intake means I'm trying to starve it to death, and must be punished with a horrible migraine. That's what I get for trying to be healthier. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NomOnShroomz 14
Omnomnom don't fight it, brownies are amazing.
candicurl 9
Looks like that diet * puts on sunglasses* will have to weight. YEAAAAAHHHHHHH
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
Haganbottom234 8
There's this diet called the Non-American. Instead of wishing you'd loose weight, you get up and do something.
MuziKMajoR 5
Fight the calories
briissocoollike 8
Alan equals pro troller
CurlyChica808 4
I haven't eaten chocolate in 2 weeks and won't till thanksgiving, besides the fact I'm keeping one piece of my Halloween candy and selling the rest to my dentist, just so I can eat the peanut butter chocolate pretzels and the caramel-chocolate-toasted coconut balls I ordered guilt free. I'm the most unathletic person I know, yet I'm doing soccer now and planning to do a sport ever season and join a camp over the summer. I've lost 12 pounds since my last physical and going for more. OP I'm 13. If I can take this much control over my health at my age, you can defiantly. Don't give up!:)
medfly 2
without seeing your weight, you sound like an anorexic. there is nothing wrong with chocolate itself, there is something wrong with an overall unhealthy diet and no exercise.
CurlyChica808 4
No sarcasm whatsoever, I genuinely appreciate your concern. I'm not anorexic, I was actually a really fat kid from about when I was 9-12. Right now I stand at 5'3 and weigh 126, but I still have a big gut and big thighs. Ik I sound like it, but for dinner I had 3 tacos, so I'm not really super mega over board with a diet. The chocolate thing is just my way of trying to stay balanced. :)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
102 , What? How the hell does she sound even remotely anorexic? Do you know what anorexia is? 122 Keep doing what you're doing, it's nice to see kids your age giving a crap about their health and doing something about it! Just be sure not to overdo it :).
thiscrazything 1
Good job, keep it up.
CurlyChica808 4
#127 and #137 thank youu!!:)
CurlyChica808 4
Sorry I commented the same thing twice so I'm making the second one say something random:P
ukrage 1
Ur way better than me at that age I was 165 and 5'2 I'm now 5'5 and thanks to high school wrestling (which I highly suggest for fat ppl) I'm 135 lb of pure muscle and have had a six pack since sophomore year so I hope u follow that in highschool
Lily_lops95 0
Haehae fatty
scottwadd1 0
I am a firefighter. I got into it to help people and save lives. But at least once a month I have to help move some fat bastard who has let themselves go to an obscene degree. After you people reach a certain weight you should be put in camps until it comes off. Disgusting.
Person1233 13
Controversial comments FTW.
ukrage 1
Wow he posted this on fml haha Looks like this guy *puts on glasses* is a glutton for punishment. YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
structuredchaoz 4
Self. Control.
substantialHack 0
I have a few suggestions
ohthatgirl 0
Well u can always start tomorrow!