Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
Today, I was nearly T-Boned at a stop sign by my ex-roommate. I moved 10 miles away to get away from her after her midlife crisis, and her losing the house, and now avoid her end of town. She now works outside my apartment. FML
Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
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Top comments
thawny_fml 21
Just keep pedalling.
Pleonasm 36
At least she didn't leave you only with half; imagine riding a unicycle to work!
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Comments (126)
Pleonasm 36
At least she didn't leave you only with half; imagine riding a unicycle to work!
swanheart 35
He could get a job at the circus! Though I hear that only pays peanuts...
Pleonasm 36
What he wouldn't do for an upgrade to a clown car though.
sylverdrag_fml 9
Yeah, but only if you're an elephant.
chillandfun 12
Hopefully you meet someone who's prettier and nicer.
ljrdz 7
cheaper to keep her....
fakedsincerity 32
A good way to get healthy, help the environment and save gas money all in one!
hamrtym 15
Would you rather bike or ride in a car with her?
russfml 31
Depending on how they left it, it sounds like she may has well of flipped him the bird as she drove passed
1dvs_bstd 41
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's like that HIMYM episode where Hobbs showed the scar from where his wife harvested his kidney during a divorce. Shit like this happens.. tough luck OP, it'll get better.
Gauzy21 12
Now someone must have used Allan Harpors lawyer..... Lol
immaloser95 28
...Better call Saul?
SystemofaBlink41 27
But then you'll end up tied up in the middle of a desert, so maybe not...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
But he can talk you down from a death sentence to six months probation.
immaloser95 28
And a broken leg
buckdharma 38
You sound a little Huffy, so I'm guessing you didn't Schwinn.
ooooohboy 15
I'm sorry: /
BrotherPhil 35
Why are you sorry? Are you his wife?