Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
Today, I was nearly T-Boned at a stop sign by my ex-roommate. I moved 10 miles away to get away from her after her midlife crisis, and her losing the house, and now avoid her end of town. She now works outside my apartment. FML
Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
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Top comments
thawny_fml 21
Just keep pedalling.
Pleonasm 36
At least she didn't leave you only with half; imagine riding a unicycle to work!
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Comments (126)
Lars93 18
vrouwen, je kunt beter kippen houden.
thawny_fml 21
Just keep pedalling.
Welshite 40
Just keep pedaling. Just keep pedaling. Just keep pedaling, pedaling, pedaling. What do we do? We pedal, pedal.
GrimReefer66 29
#2This is probably the best comment on this FML post, I don't think there is much to add on that haha
Compgeek1996 5
How is the first post number 2?
Bricktothehead 21
Think of it this way; you're losing weight, she's gaining it. Keep pedaling and she'll be Shamu before you know it!
alitairi 18
what if hes a chubby chaser?
incoherentrmblr 22
Not after that divorce...
RopeRodent 4
~~Just keep pedalling~~ ~~just keep pedalling~~ ~~just keep peda-peda-pedalling~~ totally got the just keep swimming song from Nemo in my head when I read your post XD
thefmlman2011 37
no shit #89
yve1220 20
What's that thing they said about a woman scorned? Sorry OP. One day you'll find someone you can build with who will love you unconditionally.
IWishIWasObama 12
And how do you know the ex wife was scorned?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this really all depends on what you did (if anything) that made the divorce to occur in the first place
Ebolaconflict 11
how are both of these comments scoring negatively? a man got screwed over here. equality between genders. I think not
littleteapot 21
What if he cheated on her with her sister or brother? Does that warrant a ******* over?
sirrubberduckie 37
What if he spent all of his time being a relentless b-hole to her? What if he never let her ride in the car and always made her walk? Granted, it's unlikely, but you can't just go around saying there's nothing that could possibly justify getting a car and money in a divorce.
tylercoffman99 8
wtf is a b-hole dip$h!+
Retaheki 27
There's nothing that can justify it because it was his shit. I don't understand how she gets all of her *and his* crap and he gets the shitstick. You should only be able to get your own things, not the other's.
Willibobs 33
#57 A bumhole?
sirrubberduckie 37
#57, I'm a dip$h17 because you don't know what something is? Use your imagination.
sirrubberduckie 37
#58, you may not understand it, but that's how the law works sometimes.
zBLAKEz 23
Just because that's how the law works it doesn't make it right or okay.
shessohighh 10
It's how marriage works. Say goodbye to "yours" and "mine". Hello "ours".
brand125 17
"sirrubberduckie" - non of that stuff justifies it. he was a jerk? then get on out, on what planet is taking someonss stuff fair..
tuxedoandex 28
#49 actually women are way more likely to take the house, the car, custody of the child, and loads of other things in divorces because the courts are just plain biased
mnb1998 15
Why are all the guys getting butt hurt ? i would put my whole life story on here about my parents divorce and how my dad did jack squat and how my mom did everything and bought everything but I will simply end this with... STOP BEING SO BUTTHURT!!!!
carbonbasedcynic 17
you may not understand it but cars are not free. in fact theyre not cheap either and this dude probably worked really hard for it. its ridiculous how one sided your thinking is.
Secret_Ninjaa 35
Damn, sorry OP. Best of luck to you!
nofreeusernames 10
I don't know which way to vote... Who caused the divorce?
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Doesn't matter... just because they had a falling out doesn't give either one of them the right to steel the others stuff.
shepp626 11
I don't think you understand the concept of shared assets or what stealing actually means. If there was only one car someone had to get it. If it's not paid off then she also got the debt that comes with the car. If kids are involved then whoever has custody should get the car as it's kinda hard to take multiple kids around town on one bicycle.
caitch87 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
depends why you broke up... were you cheating?
Classy_Sassy15 18
It gets better OP you'll be back in your feet.
Steve95401 49
Getting back behind the wheel would be even better.
604 11
Is it at least a nice suit?
JayVicious 20
wont matter much if he gets dirty on the way to work, bicycling can get very dirty.
MDoremis 38
At least you'll be in good shape when you start dating again!