Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
Today, I was nearly T-Boned at a stop sign by my ex-roommate. I moved 10 miles away to get away from her after her midlife crisis, and her losing the house, and now avoid her end of town. She now works outside my apartment. FML
Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
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Top comments
thawny_fml 21
Just keep pedalling.
Pleonasm 36
At least she didn't leave you only with half; imagine riding a unicycle to work!
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Comments (126)
meegal 12
It's so unfair that women usually (not always so calm down) wind up "winning" in divorces. They almost always end up on top when things are said and done.
FFDP 5
Pre-nup and keeping ur shit separate is the most only way to go....
laughingtoohard 14
I still don't understand why women get everything in the divorce.
sodit89 4
Just be glad you got to keep the suit!!
sugarmonster42 7
It's ok. Almost everyone does it in China and Japan.
exceswater 8
Shit happens mate. Go on with your life. Good things come to those who work their way up. ;)
SPFINATOR1993 10
She ****** you so **** her best friend.
JKPwnage 27
Why do the women always win in court?
Rizzie0512 18
That is really unfortunate. Did she drive by just to mock you?
xtexh465 8
It's like the guy from 40 year old virgin