Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML
Today, despite not having noisy kids, barking dogs or do I play loud music, yet apparently I still cause enough noise by walking around and watching TV that the neighbours called the cops with a noise complaint. The cops actually came. Since when is living quietly in my own home a police matter? FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gracehi 33
Your neighbors must be barking mad.
iLike2Teabag 27
They're barking up the wrong tree.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
gracehi 33
Your neighbors must be barking mad.
PurpleKicks 22
I can't get my head around how your cough sounded like an animal being abused???
Noelletakumi 36
Perhaps it sounds like a dog in immense pain?
Zarokona 9
I cant figure out how they know what "torturing an animal" sounds like. By the way...I think you might have croup - hoarse barking cough
katydid91 31
#2- There's a virus called Croup, which makes a person's cough sound similar to a seal's bark.
cristy91 33
it depends on your cough. After coughing a while some people get higher pitched and raspy. If you didn't see where the noise came from, an abused animal could be the noise source
unluckycharms69 6
What did the police do?
1dvs_bstd 41
'Alright move along, nothing to do here'
gobiteme2 34
Please everyone stand behind the tape
Vidrill 22
Well, at least you know your neighbors are sensitive towards animal abuse! That's good people to have around! Even with such bad identifying abitities...
iLike2Teabag 27
They're barking up the wrong tree.
tranced_ 45
They must be like "who let the dogs out who who ×3"
WattledParsley 11
No. Just no.
SystemofaBlink41 27
For some reason, the 'x3' made me laugh. Like, you were too lazy to write it 3 times, so **** it, let's let other people do the work.
FMLusername969 21
Haha! C'mon...thats funny! I laughed out loud!
tehstarchild 16
I hate being sick get better
NomeDMF 17
You should probably get that checked out of it sounds that bad. Hope you feel better.
NomeDMF 17
If* excuse me.
countryb_cth 38
The police must have been really confused. They came looking for someone abusing an animal and all they found was you sicker than a dog.
devildog562 33
Sounds miserable. Your neighbors kind of suck they didn't come see if you were okay before calling the cops.
UH60 26
OP's neighbors didn't know that he was sick?