Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML
Today, I got home, stripped down to my underwear, and laid on the couch. The cat came up, then started meowing loudly at me and bit my sides and legs until I put on sweats and a t-shirt. I now have a cat-enforced dress code. FML
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
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Top comments
singer0421 32
Don't feel bad OP! Cats will sleep on anything. Plus, they can fit in or on anything, ya feel? If it fits it sits.
zoeeileen 6
at least your cat lies on you haha :)
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Comments (63)
zoeeileen 6
at least your cat lies on you haha :)
NeatNit 33
don't lie OP, you liked it.
gramirez23 9
Ass don't lie either (; lol
hellnosucka 27
at least someone appreciates your ass.
cdawg69 10
dat ass..
singer0421 32
Don't feel bad OP! Cats will sleep on anything. Plus, they can fit in or on anything, ya feel? If it fits it sits.
gracehi 33
Cats: They just think they can walk all over you!
alshygirl 14
You'd be surprised how small of a space they could utilize for all that. I wouldn't think too much into it
Kstruggles 15
This is exactly what I was thinking.
hellnosucka 27
everyone knows that nothing surpasses a multipurpose ass.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Also depends on how big your cat is, honestly. I have a 5yo male that is 13lbs (he's muscular), a 7yo female that is 6-7lbs at the most, and a female that isn't even a year old yet that is about 5-6lbs and will probably be much bigger when she's fully grown. But no matter the size of the cat they can all do extremely agile/amazing things. So don't worry too much, OP. ;)
savannaharstill 8
Cats: they make the most out of a small space
gauravkunwar 14
you must've been looking all that in an awkward position
slooby_fml 25
Or she felt it
HeadlessSparrow 20
That cat... Likes big butts and cannot lie
The_Big_Boss 20
The cat knows what to do with that big fat butt
zarrie_carrie281 21
taking "if it fits, I sits" to a whole new level
Kristoffer 35
Yeah, it doesn't take much. Almost any adult cat should be able to do it on all but the smallest adult butt. Now if it's an especially large cat and she's keeping to one cheek, then you might have cause to worry, but even then, feline maneuverability is not really a reliable measure of fitness.
Xeebar 28
Don't lose that butt. It's apparently a really great bed and can be a wonderful pillow for people.
DontClickOnMe 28
Unless it starts to fart.