Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML
Today, despite not having noisy kids, barking dogs or do I play loud music, yet apparently I still cause enough noise by walking around and watching TV that the neighbours called the cops with a noise complaint. The cops actually came. Since when is living quietly in my own home a police matter? FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your neighbors must be barking mad.
iLike2Teabag 27
They're barking up the wrong tree.
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Comments (53)
iAmPaul 49
I'm sorry, I couldn't help but laugh at this.
ShadowGenius 12
Reminds me of the time I was having sex with my deaf ex girlfriend.
vikky538 29
thank God..at least the cough doesn't sound like animals fornicating..
happysmile987 24
Assholes. Assholes everywhere.
SalenaCrosse 16
If FML taught me anything it's beware of neighbors, don't ever try to be cool, and there are a lot more crazy, assholes in this world than I originally thought possible.
Joshery 14
That must have been "ruff!"
ihartmytdi 23
Still waiting for the day when you can call the cops on someone for calling the cops on you unnecessarily. Call all the cops!
russfml 31
Haha you hear enough stories from dispatch, people calling for getting the wrong order at McDonald's
cakefete2 31
Not to be confused with pertussis aka "whooping cough", pup-tussis more commonly referred to as woofing cough is quite ruff on the body.
travellingfun 18
That's a ruff situation.
willyjac 17
Alright guys we can stop with these puns now...