Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML
Today, despite not having noisy kids, barking dogs or do I play loud music, yet apparently I still cause enough noise by walking around and watching TV that the neighbours called the cops with a noise complaint. The cops actually came. Since when is living quietly in my own home a police matter? FML
Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
Your neighbors must be barking mad.
iLike2Teabag 27
They're barking up the wrong tree.
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Comments (53)
[email protected] 14
I had same thing a few years ago felt like I was going to die. The best thing to get a one of those steam things and use it over night. It may take six months till you feel better sorry OP but that's how long it took me. It's probably best to stay home and skip the next six months of school.
Dilwann 27
Or... OP just has a bad-sounding, productive (= with slimes) cough. It can sound very bad and can be done within a week. I'd suggest not giving well-meant advice when you only know the situation from your own experience.
[email protected] 14
Why did my comment get down votes it seems like anything I saw on here people think it's mean like wth lmao I was only trying to help but I guess helping people means your dick...
FMLusername969 21
i think it was the "skip 6 months of school."
[email protected] 14
Well I'm pretty sure your classmates are going to get pissed if you keep coughing like that. That's why it's best leave school for however long it takes for you to get better.
False_Stupidity 42
I hope your neighbors were suitably embarrassed by what a debarkle they caused after you explained their mistake.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Hey, at least if there was an animal being tortured, it would have been saved. Silver lining? I feel for you, OP. I got bronchitis 4 times last year and my coughing was nearly that bad as well. Get well soon!
Gauzy21 12
Who in the right mind calls the cops on something so stupid.
cheeeksss 29
The neighbors thought an animal was being abused. How is that stupid? I hope you don't have pets if you think this way...
militarybrat 21
I agree with the other reply. You hear what sounds like an animal getting abused and thats stupid? Seriously? Abusing animals is illegal, i am glad they called the cops.
dakatabg 31
Protective neighbors
Chilupa 28
They were concerned that a "whooping terrier" was being mistreated.
miyaviichan 27
Gotta love nosy assholes.
ronzi 15
Sucks for you. Hope you feel better soon.
awhite2018 6
I have asthma and I get VERY bad bronchitis every year. Teachers would kick me out of class over it.
militarybrat 21
Please go to the doctor over a barking cough. Too many times that turns in to pneumonia and THAT my dear is no bueno.