Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
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Top comments
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
do fish turn him on because they remind him of you? or part of you?
TheLetterZero 7
Guess you could say he was... *sunglasses* hooked on that program. YEEEAAAHHH!
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Comments (107)
amerwin 3
If you want him to filet your fresh catch, you should stop trying to reel him in using stink bait.
123sploosh 0
you are an idiot.
Mehness 0
16, you're an idiot. Meanwhile, 15 is win.
machiko_fml 0
Looks like fish turn him on. Have you ever tried letting him fish down under?
meganpaige 0
win.
birds_fml 7
I had a boyfriend like that, only he was more interested in playing video games than coming to bed to have sex, even when I tried to get him interested by playing with his junk. He told me, and I quote "I'm enjoying this game on a whole different level now!" Not enjoying it enough to pause the stupid game and have sex though, I guess. Dump him now, it never will get any better. He obviously doesn't give a damn about your needs.
coderedz 0
sex over rides most things I'm doing. well obviously within reason.
c8750 2
Agree with birds. I had a bf like that too. There's nothing quite like watching 3 guys play wrestling for 12 hours straight. Not to mention the hours he spent playing some RPG. OP if this is common dump his ass. If it's the first time talk to him about it
EngineerJane 0
Women like you don't deserve a boyfriend. You'll complain and say no to sex when a man wants it and dump then when you want it while they are having fun. Stop being selfish and uncaring and maybe you'll get the sex you're craving so bad.
PurplePeeps 0
^Certified engineer. I would listen.
mjcdsjf 0
77 owned you.
outsidehitter7 9
in all honesty. listen guys...sometimes girls don't even necessarily wanna have sex when they pull that crap. sometimes the just want some damn attention!! if it's gotten to that point that ur girl feels she has to use that last resort ur a freaking asshole if u don't give her some attention. and come on!!! u also get laid!! it's a win win!! =D
Anteezy 7
Was the fish supposed to be cooked on a show on the food network? If so it's understandable he went flaccid, I think you should buy a shakeweight to practice your old-fashioned skills.
Babushka_Homyak 10
Win South Park reference.
khristina_marie 0
lol south park reference
Miii_fml 0
wtf with all the fish related stupid comments?? some ppl try way too hard to b funny n they SUCK at it... keep ur day jobs!! lmfao!! he's gay.. he prob goes fishing with his buddies.. so fishing shows technically shouldnt turn him on but it does.. so he couldnt care less about eating her.. common!!!
OneLittleAdditio 9
Just cuz ur lame-ass has no sense of humor doesn't mean the rest of us don't enjoy a good laugh. Go get a sense of humor and enjoy these jokes as corny as they are :]
DocBastard 40
No need to flounder all over the place and be a snapper and mako big deal of this. Everyone is just trying to make puns as a grouper. You cod always tuna out if you don't like it rather than carping like this. This may just be a red herring because I'm only a general sturgeon, and I may be way off bass and a little roughy 'round the edges, but I like puns - they give me a moray of sunshine in my dreary day and make me eel happy and yell "wahoo!" like I'm sitting on haddock of the bay. Ok, that's enough. I'm trout of here. I have to go drive down the pike and meet my friend John Dory the loan shark.
TaylorTheBoss 4
wow...
c8750 2
Nice Doc. Quite impressive
Chunkylover76 4
ABSOLUTELY EPIC!!
meploLol 0
37 = win
lyncecelia 13
Love it Doc! Lol
plattapeople 0
holy macral that's a win
schwancy 2
My head just exploded.
pike1346 3
I like your ****, and want u to sit on my face so I can eat your a$$
lolaisagirl 0
wow doc I can't believe I just read all of that for the halibut..dun dun chhh
triggerit 5
a bit strange for a man... having a fish who is ready to be fried he loosing time on virtual one... ydi couse worst than virtual fish...
sourgirl101 29
If you took pictures of it, it would look just like Bret Favre's
RedPillSucks 33
You know the old saying.... A fish in the bed is worth two on the tele.... or something like that.... you..., you wont get fooled again.
stlphil 0
So he wasn't interested. Guys sometimes just don't feel "in the mood". That's just life.
DocBastard 40
Obviously it was a slippery dick that was lost. I have no idea about the guy on TV, though.
sourgirl101 29
"Slippery dick" lol I found out that was indeed a name of a fish by reading an FML. Oh the things one can learn here.(: