Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
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Top comments
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
do fish turn him on because they remind him of you? or part of you?
TheLetterZero 7
Guess you could say he was... *sunglasses* hooked on that program. YEEEAAAHHH!
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Comments (107)
shay224ah 5
lol who the hell gets turned on by fishing!
bumnumber1 0
Damn that's hilarious! I wish I could make my girlfriend start drippin by just floppin a couple of fresh salmon onto the table. F his life for losin that wood! She should have been off to the supermarket to buy some lobsters or maybe a box of fish sticks would do the trick.
dt520 4
what a ****** queef
murphythadog 0
more like fhl for not having a girlfriend who is better at keeping a stiffy than a fish. maybe if you were hot this wouldn't be a problem.
jckbco 0
I've met a lot of divorced women who can't figure out why they didn't get enough sex in their marriage... see the warning signs girls
pike1346 3
your giving a handjob. handjobs suck, I can understand why he went soft. why don't u try blowing him, instead of the third grade hand job
AceArctic 4
What a bass. That's no way to trout your mom! :P
jamz99 0
hey hey ..there's one explanation for this . that guy is actually kanye west and he was watching fishsticks on tv.
anonyn_fml 0
hahahahah
Miii_fml 0
Its a FML not a JOKE aps retards!! n sadly im not the type of person who will laugh at someone whos down!! not everyone gets cheered up by jokes.. especially some of these!! N kiss my BUTT im allowed to express my own opinion!!