Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
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Top comments
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
do fish turn him on because they remind him of you? or part of you?
TheLetterZero 7
Guess you could say he was... *sunglasses* hooked on that program. YEEEAAAHHH!
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Comments (107)
cloudy01 0
LOL pants can't get hard
fearfulsymmetry 1
He wasn't interested, and just not in the mood. So what? Men have to be ******* machines 24/7 or else there's something wrong with them? I highly doubt you're in the mood every time he makes a move on you OP. Get over it.
HomeAl0ne 20
Invest in a mermaid costume and see if that floats his boat.
FFDP 5
wow, that dude is a loser, can u say time to move on OP?
kindlystfupls 0
wow. what a lame bf you have. he watches fishing shows..?
AdobeAlf 2
Maybe it wasn't the fish, but it was the man!
Johdy 0
next time you both have sex maybe you'll be so disappointed that you fall asleep...
Slinkydalatg 6
...wow. Seriously? I would've turned the tv off.
ch111 0
can't u just take care of yourself? lol
mrakestraw777 2
Wow. Just WOW.