Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
leadman1989 16
You should have said "seven days"!
Cheesecakee 11
Way to ruin a mood...
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Comments (128)
Cheesecakee 11
Way to ruin a mood...
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Your doing it wrong, OP.
fanceh 10
At least you don't look like a hobit.
stacianichole 2
*You're (don't fire me)
stro88 6
Sounds like a roleplaying fetish to me :-) I bet he got even harder after that. Good going girl do your thing.
madskittlesftw 5
He got hard over a girl that looks dead? o.o awkward.....
seanders 10
He just wants to throw himself down your well.:)
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
My apologies. Damn iPhones. I must have put two of the letter "R" instead of "RE". I should really start skipping the whole abbreviation thing.... Okay, I am done rambling and will return to my corner for being a dumb ass and not proofreading. Carry on..
tylersign 11
I don't see the FML in this.. That girl from The Ring is super sexy.
Enslaved 38
The blonde lady was cute, not the long haired little girl coming out of the TV. *chills*
tylersign 11
/sarcasm.
fatgirllovesfml 0
That tape gives me boners! o|o
PennyLane27 32
#18, If that's a roleplaying fetish, OP better get a 'safe-word'!
rawrkittyrawr 6
If u he got hard after that I'm gonna guess he's the same guy asking his girlfriend to play dead so he can have sex with her "corpse"
fabian21 0
He was probably referring to the **** remake of The Ring, anyway. The Sexy Ring, where women come out the TV and get down and busy. Yum!
decidedlyvague 11
Him or her? 'Cause it sounded like she just freaked him the **** out. Although a ******* from an adult version of the ring girl would be ******* awesome. Although I'll die 7 days later from sleep deprivation and too much sex.
shumian 4
Samara was hot.. Just the way she screamed mommy... Uhh yea....
scrapmetal58 9
True Fact #1: Apparently there's a gay **** called The Hole and in it everyone that watches the tape turns gay. True Fact #2: Yes I wrote "apparently" in true fact #1.
Twincest 11
That would have me turned on so hard... ;3
omfgfmlife 0
Twincest... your name is... so so good
dmw25 0
That was a buzzkill...
Jaxx66 21
No shit. I woulda Mike Tyson'd him right about then!
instnt1nfction 17
You mean bite his ear?
NeDaroft 5
Poor Evander :(
leadman1989 16
You should have said "seven days"!
ikickgingers 15
3 - I Laughed so hard imagining this - I spit coffee on my desk. :/
sexylicious 4
Awesome
MerrikBarbarian 9
haha I did too. except my cat was in my lap.. was. excuse me while I tend to my bleeding now.
blcarter81 0
#62 - I would suggest for you to get your girlfriend to tend to your bleeding, but that fact that you love animal skulls, and that you in fact own a cat, leads me to believe that you live alone and the cat that scratched you was one of the many cats you own to keep you company
babyschmoo 13
Next fml
smexehXredhead0 0
What an asshole...
RunnerDudeTyler 0
Sounds like an insult, maybe he think you look like a psychopathic drown victim.
HU4L188 0
5. U have the best taste of music.... Ever... U are my hero
coldasfire 23
#70, you have the worst taste of spelling.
Troy_K 7
Have you not seen the movie? The girl climbs all over people trying to **** them. It's so scary.
Epsilonyx 15
What a sweet compliment. Samara makes me cum buckets. That thick, oily hair. Mm.
curlyfry33 8
I like how this has 69 likes...
abbyelizabeth 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If anyone thumbs it up I will hunt you down.
Cereal_Is_Good 5
Well 96, it looks like you have 5 anonymous people to hunt down.
kaycee1996 5
Make that 34 : )
Kazze 31
125 now. Good luck.
YummiGummi 0
Maybe he was hinting at something.
Lolzords 11
@11 Oh THAT'S the ring they were talking about.
sensfan7 3
How you doin?
91nash 2
Wow ur rlly cute
Lenho 26
Tell him he has 7 days to have sex with you.
Edla 11
Yeah, I guess I can see why that might have been a kind of a buzz kill.