Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
leadman1989 16
You should have said "seven days"!
Cheesecakee 11
Way to ruin a mood...
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Comments (128)
HU4L188 0
Lol thats funny it may be a moodkill but its worth it cus i would have died laughing
angel1234567 10
Ahahahahahahaha I'm sorry hut this is ******* funny. I kinda feel bad for you and if he calls you Samara then you're ******
Elfsrock 4
haha hes a keeper great joke haha
SprungOnVixNutz 0
guess it wasn't so sexy after all lol
lucas18xx53 0
^^And abs...
Sniper_Chick 14
Late one night leave the TV on static pour a bottle of water over your head and stand in front of said TV with the lights out. Hilarious...
ohmandapants 17
Well apparently you didn't climb up on top of him as "sexily" as you thought...there's a fine line between sexy and creepy. Gotta watch out
VeganVampyre 27
I know how you feel, OP. I've actually had a few people tell me I look like Samara from The Ring. Although not when I was trying to have sex with them, at least... On the bright side, she was actually a very cute little girl. I take it as a compliment :P
decidedlyvague 11
Vegan Vampire? You suck the "blood" out of vegetables?
spicywatermelon 0
Lmao fav.
xXMudkipNoobXx 7
oh my god im getting images of it in my head thanks bitch