Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, my cat knocked the TV remote behind our heavy couch. I reached for it, got stuck halfway underneath, and had to call my roommate for help. She found me face-down on the carpet wearing one sock and asked if this was “an emergency or drugs?” FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
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Top comments
yrkamurka 4
Flying pussy
dinosaurfeces 4
Sounds like a "cat"astrophe.
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Comments (120)
DrDilllonReese 12
Well **** the **** out of me, I'm wrong. It still has no flow, so all is not lost in my battle :)
fuckkyeaaaalaura 12
That's why I don't like cats .
gabrielbaby 9
Because someone threw a cat in the air?
Not_You_Again 15
We have the same sister!
MoNnEy_MiiTE 3
We can make a video out of that. Many people tell us their stories and we call the video "Fuzzy *******"
Kishawn2 2
that's awesome. better you than me
Kishawn2 2
that's awesome. better you than me
cdx 11
Your Impulse reaction: When scared, throw whatever is in your hands...up...regardless.
NanillaVipples 2
I feel your pain, fuzzy sounds scare the shit out of me!
robbieboi 0
Since when did it become okay to lick ANYTHING that's still plugged into an electrical outlet... Seriously. YDI.
robbieboi 0
K umm, fml for not making sure it the right flippin story.... -.-
Merylwen 24
What? Oo
robbieboi 0
Yeah, umm, I tried to comment on the previous story.... And failed lol
Babyseal420 7
13- That's a scarry situation.