Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, my cat knocked the TV remote behind our heavy couch. I reached for it, got stuck halfway underneath, and had to call my roommate for help. She found me face-down on the carpet wearing one sock and asked if this was “an emergency or drugs?” FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
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Top comments
yrkamurka 4
Flying pussy
dinosaurfeces 4
Sounds like a "cat"astrophe.
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Comments (120)
Fl9C1 4
You got owned!
youcunthole 0
Who the hell throws the cat you are holding when u get scared
DrDilllonReese 12
OP does. Now that we got that dumb question answered, who's next?
bananagrams 9
You got scared, so the first thing you did was throw your cat?
fromthesuck 8
I don't know why but something about this just says YDI. Maybe it was dangling a cat in the air for its feet to hang down pointed at you.
WaSiSimiLang 8
I throw my cat up in the air sometimes saying a yo I got scared... D'OH!
tj4234 36
OP... I thought it was the cat who was supposed to be the pussy?
SmittyJA24 26
Cats are not good pets. YDI.
blacksswan 10
Do you mind backing that up for us pet owners who have a cat? & I really hope you had experience with one in the past.
deviable 9
Hmm, they self groom, pee in a box and are easy to please. Plus, contrary to popular belief, they provide plenty of affection. I don't quite get your reasoning.
bubo_fml 11
The moral of the story? Turn off the T.V. when it's time to play with the pussy!!
Guyfromcrowd 7
Maybe you should keep the cords more tidy in safer places so people don't trip over the in the first place >.