Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
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Top comments
lets_be_ian 5
did none of you guys get the part about the stolen ID? for ***** sake I don't think she was heading in to the new Twilight Release party... some kids do ****** up things like this when they can take advantage of having older siblings.
love15_fml 8
hello, Europe... UK
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Comments (87)
Blobenshnogen 0
Fuzz? Cloakroom? Sister? Fake.
love15_fml 8
hello, Europe... UK
brutallyhonest24 0
pay him the money, then steal it back from your sister. problem solved =D
Zhejan 0
BABY FACE BABY FACE, YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR LITTLE SISTER BABY FACE BABY FACE FABY BACE FACY BABE BAY FAB FACY BAE ****
Chickenmonkey 0
#23, You completely ignored the ID part of the FML, didn't you?
Smiley_70 22
Hello - let them call the Fuzz - it was not you. It was your sister - get the identity right and have your sister face the music!
expen_dable 0
Everyone who says this FML is fake is just pissed because while other teens go out and party and have fun, they sit on Fmylife.com and Myspace trying to think of witty and hip comments to impress other lonely teenagers. BTW my roommate is 17 and a sophomore in college so she uses my ID to get into clubs, and she looks nothing like me, so it wouldn't be that hard for someones sister to do the same, depending on how strict the bouncers are.
argghhh_fml 0
okay i understand whats wrong with "fuzz" and maybe non-english people dont say cloakrooms but whats wrong with sister
cellerbeck 4
I think the cloak room would be like the entrance room where you take off your coat.
underaegis 0
that's a good thing... FOR YOUR SISTER
p3rfect_ins4nity 0
$255? really? did the bouncer say that exactly? sounds like bullshit if u asked me! and YDI for being a shallow bitch:)
Lorns 7
yeah we do actually talk like that in England? and we do have cloakrooms...
samikitty961 8
i believe a cloakroom is a bathroom actually. according to dictionary.com...
SeaMen 3
81 there's a huge diference in $255 and £255
Thorn3359 10
What are those?
scottvodka 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi for going to the same clubs as your sister... who's 15
Geist_fml 0
HAHA! This truly has made me laugh! The clubs in europe that allows 15 year olds in are the children ones trust me I know I made this accident before! Silly OP!
lets_be_ian 5
did none of you guys get the part about the stolen ID? for ***** sake I don't think she was heading in to the new Twilight Release party... some kids do ****** up things like this when they can take advantage of having older siblings.
love15_fml 8
did you have to pay?
geekplaya 0
she probably ended up screwing the bouncer. problem solved
Starchild21 3
Hahahah sucks ass
Salim_fml 0
No way you had to pay! They cant do that to you
Derioan 0
Ouch. Give her hell.[Or not]
untoldfame 3
oh no, how terrible. *Rolls eyes. this has got to be fake
scottvodka 0
she's british, can't hold it against her
MochiHoshi 0
Oh wow, finally a moderately good FML. ******* sucks chica. If its fake, still gave me a good laugh.
maybe_tomorrow 0
Well, at least your sister knows how to have a good time, and not get the blame for it. XD
No_Heart 0
Her sister is going to get raped one day, and i will laugh.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
But her sister will take the fall and contract the STD