Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
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Top comments
kamikrazy 6
Plastic fruit taste better
shanemaximo 7
Well there's your conversation starter right there!
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Comments (186)
waterpistol 4
so did you casually place it back in the bowl?
daisyismydog 3
Now you'll have something to talk about
causticgirl 6
In your case I'd say actions speak louder than words
hellbilly205 17
That awkward moment when you eat a plastic apple, instead of grabbing a twix...
linkinpark98 24
The awkward moment when you realize the apple actually tastes a lot better than you thought it would...
hellbilly205 17
That awkward moment when you have an awkward moment...
SupahAsian 4
I bet you Resin-t doing that. You Poly shouldn't have been so quick to bite down.
absolutegrrr 7
Plastically the worst comment ever.
silentbutfunny 0
:| these puns... They burn the mind!
cunningchick 1
Heheh your punny:)
margie2194 12
Grapes are the worst. They look so realistic
Michael_92 20
The only thing that threw me of is...plastic apples are usually very light. Think he would have noticed?
drinkPINK 4
And when he picked it up, did he not notice how much lighter the "apple" was..? Maybe he didn't realized that it was hollowed out... Not to mention the plastic-feel of the apple skin. Let's be honest, plastic apples are soo much different than real ones. "Ignorance is curable. Stupidity is not."
musicluvr2000 11
At least it's low on calories
Me_You_Us 7
Unfortunately they are low in vitamins
horneyhic 15
And high in carcinogens
asktherunes 4
So u thought u would just sit there & not participate Perhaps she should have taken a robot to dinner
Jonkbaby 23
*The more you knooow
DocBastard 40
Fake fruit is so incredibly ridiculous. Who the hell would be impressed by that? "Oh my, dear. Look at that! They have a bowl of FRUIT on the table. How sophisticated!" Stupid.
silentbutfunny 0
Better yet; paint a picture of it.
downtime 13
Like any other fake plant based product it exists to bring colour and decoration to the room, not to impress.
grapisy 8
Oh my god, you don't understand! I ******* LOVE plastic!
bri5083 9
That awkward moment when your trying to look smart..
Justin23L 2
That awkward moment when someone tries to insult OP's intelligence yet uses the wrong "you're"
kittenvks 11
Troll?
ihatemylife10000 0
That awkward moment wen some trolling chick edits her picture to make her self look tan...bitch please ur as fake as ur tan
bri5083 9
Would you like to see another picture? That's my real color and I don't tan some people are actually born this way. You can make fun of my grammar or whatever but seriously? Judging appearances doesn't make you any cooler.
le_troll 0
Must happen to you a lot. Ooooooh burned lol. Nah jk.