Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on my way home, a truck driver was speeding next to me and as he passed I saw his truck was the kind that takes livestock to be butchered. I was thinking that I didn’t look to see if there were animals in there. Suddenly, brown items hit my windshield. Yes, it didn’t "hit the fan," it hit my car. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend was driving on a busy highway when she slammed on the brakes, causing a multi-car accident. She then ran across several lanes, almost getting smashed by a truck, because she thought she saw a dog in the road. It was already dead. Insurance is gonna be a nightmare. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed our car into the car ahead. He was trying to pull away from the traffic lights faster than the person next to us, a ten-year-old kid on a bicycle. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
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Top comments
traviscool 12
Well that's a load of shit!
Fuaaad1994 31
He wouldn't be laughing after you give him one big hug
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Comments (148)
Shadowbay 18
Well, not everyone can say that's happened to them and after a nice shower you'll probably find the humor in this so don't be too hard on your boyfriend... everyone laughs when they're not the one on the receiving end
MrZsDad 19
Well that's a legit reason for going vegan.
tayymeds 23
Because animals take *****?
skychu 18
Hopefully none got in your mouth or eyes and stuff, that's pretty gross...
pump281 4
why so many bad puns for this post?!
tayymeds 23
Because of how shitty it is.
vanaathiel 13
You should have leaned in to give him a nice hug and a kiss :)
mike7800 8
sounds like Bullshit if you ask me
Smoothiemuch 8
Well I know how that feels but if I was your boyfriend I would literally be on the floor.
dave20012 15
Well that's bullshit
foxwasalamb 24
thats when you take it and smear it all over him
squarecircles 13
Throw some in his face