Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
More like **** the cat's life......
ohdamn_fml 2
Cats never listen to you, don't waste your breath. Buy a spray bottle
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Comments (100)
Esperantist 0
#4 is right, but if you want to be funny about it, write her a letter about cat abuse.
fcuk_fml 0
haha.. that's just some subtle comedy. and this is why i don't have pets, because they pee/shed everywhere. but your neighbor.. hahah.. you should leave them a note with a picture of the cat and write, 'not my kid'.
katiebearrr 0
am I the only one feeling bad for the cat? hahah poor thing.
jazziness 12
I feel bad for the cat op is stupid
jazziness 12
I feel bad for the cat my cat wouldnt let me get away with that
0 3
HAHAHAHA That's probably what I would yell at my cat!
0 3
Also, do that many of you really think that all cats use litter boxes and never go outside? Litter boxes stink up the house, and cats have been outside animals for centuries.
Bakke 0
"Cats are less intelligent than dogs." WOW... Are you serious?
y_2_me 0
you should've just said what you said, and then added, "YOU STUPID CAT!!!"
garbanza 0
#32- Cats just don't put up with the bullshit of being dominated like dogs do. I'd say this makes them extremely more intelligent, they know exactly what they're ignoring when they don't listen to their owners.
firstnlast77 0
i don't know what some of your problems are it's not like people haven't talked to their pets before, i would probably yell at my dog eventually if he kept crapping on the floor
aridawn 0
That's awesome. People on here are lying if they say they don't talk to their animals like their people. I hold whole conversations with my cats...I'm lonely... ;-)