Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
More like **** the cat's life......
ohdamn_fml 2
Cats never listen to you, don't waste your breath. Buy a spray bottle
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Comments (100)
Bakke 0
Actually, you should just write a note back pretending to be offended, explaining it was your cat. He should be the one to write FMLs =)
AliSama 17
would be funny if she called the cops for child abuse and had them come to see a cat. rofl.
Aly_fml_fml 0
Ummm, Litter Box much? Why the **** do you make your cat use the bathroom outside? You shouldn't expect that you moron, it isn't a dog.
lynx_fml 0
#17, #22 It's perfectly natural for cats to go outside to do it. My cat hardly ever uses his litter box because he prefers to do it outside.
OuttaMind 0
That neighbor should've confronted you face to face. Then at least you could explain. WTF.
VexVisnu 0
I'm with Pal5017. You beat me to it :P
Amkii 0
Poor kitty. :( I agree with #24!
ohbabybaby_fml 0
that was ******* mean. cats dont have brains like us. i hope you burn in hell.. that was so ******* mean. people like you shouldnt have pets. and i wish that guy called the cops on you
ShadowlessSpear 21
Are you daft?
pmcizhere 0
Cats are less intelligent than dogs. They can't understand basic commands, only loud noises/shouts, so why would you talk to one like that? You probably need to get out more.
justpaper 0
^#32, dogs don't understand when you "talk" to them either. Both cats and dogs are capable of answering basic commands. And who the heck is serious when they threaten an animal? It's an animal. YOU need to get out more.