Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML
Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
Gringo_fml 0
More like **** the cat's life......
ohdamn_fml 2
Cats never listen to you, don't waste your breath. Buy a spray bottle
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Comments (100)
GummyBearX 2
YDI for being mean to the cat. next time the note will say animal abuse.
xAvaricex 1
Why are so many people mad at OP for being mean to her cat? I mean come on people its just a cat its just an animal we find to cute to eat. besides its not like she was beating or hurting just yelling at and leaving it outside which isnt bad honestly.
SebastianG 2
Umm... So I don't get it... Should I feel bad for the cat because you yelled at it.. Or you because you stand In your backyard yelling at cats...
shaddol3lade 7
At least she didn't call CPS about it
Disembob 16
At least they didn't call the cops...
zinger55 10
that's funny!
guttedbrit 26
Scolding?
Mad_Or_Nah 13
Karma is a bitch
fantasyworld 39
Teach the cat to use the litter box.
sophiehelen 32
So your neighbour accused you of child abuse but didn't alert anyone? I know it's a good thing cause you weren't doing anything but what's a note going to do if you were actually mistreating your child