Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML
Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML
Today, I learned that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
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Top comments
jstorie95 8
Sounds like a pain in the ass
elJefe98 8
Nailed it!
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Comments (63)
thatnucca 36
When multitasking burns with glittering side effects.
alleybean123 7
That sucks. Hope you get better!
jw90 18
Is your ass all sparkly now?
zelf_fml 11
Ah well, better like this than your hands covered in..... Hm guess either way is crap.
RockySnakes 10
maybe stop multitasking
Zynris 10
Acetone and asshole should never be in the same sentence.
why57why 21
Nope nope nope nope nope ouch
jmacfan1 16
Ouch. Just reading that hurt me.
pazuzus_intern 10
What were you late for that warranted removing your fingernail polish while taking a shit?!
Poetaster 10
Never polish your beaver whilst reliving ones self.