Today, I found out that most of the people I work with secretly refer to me as the "designated bottom" because they assumed from my slight stature and soft spoken personality that I was a submissive homosexual. My wife thinks it’s hilarious and keeps grabbing my ass to make me jump in shock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, I found out everybody at work thinks I'm a lesbian because they thought my boyfriend was a girl. FML
Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I worked up the courage to tell my supervisor that it makes me feel uncomfortable when my coworker teases me by saying a special needs client is in love with me at the residential facility I work at. Her response was, “Well, he is obsessed with you. He writes your name down hundreds of times and watches you out his window." FML
Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML
Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
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Top comments
Isamermaid 17
You should report them to management or HR and mention the words “sexual harassment lawsuit.”
RichardPencil 32
She's trying to de-sensitize you to butt play so you'll hold still while she pegs you.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
She's trying to de-sensitize you to butt play so you'll hold still while she pegs you.
Isamermaid 17
You should report them to management or HR and mention the words “sexual harassment lawsuit.”
guitarherogeek 22
Snitches get stitches
lovelyhippos 15
That's harassment and it's generally frowned upon in workplaces. You might want to look into filing a complaint or quit if management is allowing it to go on.
Tristan Merson 6
you got to find the biggest guy in the office and In your house and then beat them up. prision rules.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Ladies and gentlemen, and variations thereupon, I give you Dr. Tobias Fünke, Analrapist.
julfunky 29
Hey, you have someone waiting to love you at home. Can they all say the same thing? Screw them, kids will be kids.