Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Ah, young love…
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Not so anal retentive then…
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Nailed it
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Snoozefest
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Bad sign
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Actor's Studio
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Top comments
porcelainkisses 5
I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.
coballan55 0
is she hot?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (308)
swimgurly 2
Wow so does this mean ur to ugly for girls? Hahaha
Gothicbunnyx3 16
I read it wrong , and then I shit my pants with laughter.
kittybaby01 10
At least you don't have to worry about getting her pregnant lmao
princesskittie 0
You embarrass yourself when you point out that your hand is your fucken girl friend.
kittehkatrawrr 2
Ahahahahahahah! XDDD
Chanq 5
need to stop reading this shit during work, all day im quiet(im the quiet one apparantly) and out of nowhere i burst into screaming laughter.... people think im nuts i guess hahaha this one actually made cry , simple but hardcore funny
J3NNI3LYNN 9
Wow go out and get a real girl loser
lizabeth200 4
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That's all I can say!
EmmiSunshine 0
Did you wear the sock on your dick? LOL FOREVER ALONE
MissNicky_fml 0
Im kinda umm creeped out:/ sorry