Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Is there a huge gaping hole in your wall? If not then we can assume that she didn't come in like a wrecking ball.
RobinGoodfellow 47
That is definitely one of the more terrifying cutouts you could have found. I feel your pain/horror.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
zarbof 19
Uh oh. Time to interrogate your friends and family
Mightyrif 23
Maybe she came in like a wrecking ball!
notsoanonymous3 20
Or, well, the landlord?!
scuccria 12
#37 what if she owns the house. This shit is creepy.
nekminnet 13
Time to change your locks. Creepy
iOceanus 18
Locks are an illusion of safety. They are easy to pick, so just about anyone can get in with a little knowhow--regardless of the locks being changed.
Mr_Guy_Dude 17
Locks are love. Locks are life.
RobinGoodfellow 47
That is definitely one of the more terrifying cutouts you could have found. I feel your pain/horror.
thespiantess 18
It's DaveDays all over again...
False_Stupidity 42
Agreed, I can think of only one cut out that would be more horrifying. A full size Beiber cutout...
TallMist 32
Nicki Minaj.
SnoringMonkeyObs 14
wooah.
denaeb123 24
Im sure it was friends or family with a cruel sense of humor! I wouldnt freak out too much!
lyricalservant 21
Cruel sense of humour you say? It seems psycophatic to me. I mean who does that for jokes and giggles? OP is in need of help. Poor OP she must be terrified
Exodiafinder687 58
Is there a huge gaping hole in your wall? If not then we can assume that she didn't come in like a wrecking ball.
RyWillieMitch 16
No matter how far OP runs, they won't be able to hide from her. Because she can't stop. And she won't stop.
Emint 16
After all, she can't be tamed.
sonnyrosa 32
*slow clap* This is the best comment I've read on FML today... you win the internet <3
Greis 2
+1 internets to you.
toowie_fml 20
creepy landlord?
TomatoGuts 10
Strategically place a camera in your apartment so that if there's a next time, it'll be recorded? When you find out who it was, you can put an equally bad cutout in that person's home.
False_Stupidity 42
Can you even think of an equally bad cut out?
year2015 11
I can think of a WORSE cutout: Justin Beiber.
Just_A_Tree 20
Magic Miley. It's the new remake of Magic Mike, except it's an actual documentary on Miley Cyrus. But it has a plot twist where she turns out to be a magician. She's great at disappearing acts, but she leaves her signature cut out of herself wherever she appears and disappears to and from. Congratulations, OP!
laden_swallow09 35
You're trying too hard.
MrsDruidess 23
wait, before or after her ugly phase??
Just_A_Tree 20
This is relevant! If it's after, pose it in funny places and have a few laughs!
telli164 30
Wait, there's an after? I thought she was still going through it
Crossing 17
If it was before it would not be so bad.
TallMist 32
She's not THAT bad looking. She's not perfect, but she's decent at least... ...Well, except with her clothes.